Mambo quotes from Duckman

Dad didn't forget our plans, did he?

Mambo

Does a high-ranking religious figure evacuate his bowels in a wooded area?

Duckman

Plans?

Mambo

You were supposed to take us to the unveiling of the new supercomputer at the Museum of Science and Technology.

We left you a note.

Duckman

You expected me to find that?!

Mambo

You found our 50 dollars there last week.

Cornfed, as members of the first family, we've grown disillusioned with our lives of decadence and hubris.

Ajax

And we want to save Dad from his raging eggo.

Mambo

Ajax, I think you mean "ego."

Ajax

Oh. Once again, I've confused Dad's psyche with a toasted breakfast food. Although the image of fighting off a bloodthirsty waffle will forever remain a favourite in the playground of my mind...

Cornfed

I can't let you join us, boys. Regardless of the circumstances, the notion of teaching you to betray your own father paralyzes me with guilt.

He called you a whiny little trough-licking turncoat who talks in a deep voice to overcompensate for his inadequacies with women.

Cornfed

[frowning] We'll start with "12 Ways to Impale a Man on a Palm Frond."

Dr. Susan Fox

And you two are... what are you two again?

We're Mr. Duckman's assistants.

Bernice

Ha! They're just here so Duckman can take phoney-baloney tax write-offs.

Duckman

So?

Mambo

Dad, it's illegal.

Duckman

Used to be, Mambo, but thanks to right-wing religious nutballs, it's now a sacred duty to God and America to disobey whatever laws you don't agree with! Err, which reminds me - if any G-men come sniffing around, we don't have automatic weapons stockpiled in the basement, okay?

But we don't.

Duckman

Riiight...