“Gripes of Wrath” · Season 1, Episode 3
In this episode: Eric T. Duckman (4), Aunt Bernice (2), Cornfed Pig (1), Charles (1), Mambo (1)
Dad didn't forget our plans, did he?
Does a high-ranking religious figure evacuate his bowels in a wooded area?
Plans?
You were supposed to take us to the unveiling of the new supercomputer at the Museum of Science and Technology.
We left you a note.
[They empty a cupboard of many objects, reaching an iron safe, taking a book out of it and revealing the note tucked inside]
You expected me to find that?!
You found our 50 dollars there last week.
Front-row tickets to Busty Bikini Babefest.
It's not like it sounds! First prize is a scholarship or, uh... something.
Duckman, you're despicable! You make plans with your children, then lie to them about some so-called "case," denying them a one-time-only educational and historical experience, just so you can spend an afternoon degrading women by treating them as worthless sex objects for your abject and debauched pleasure!
What's the bad part?
Greetings. I have interfered with your television signals to inform you of my intention to command and dominate your everyday lives. You are now all completely and totally under my control.
Phew! I thought something was wrong with the TV.
[pointing a knife at Cornfed] Stay outta this, porky!
Easy, Duckman. I know over two hundred ways to kill a man.
You could glue an open jar of rats to his face, then blowtorch the other side of the jar, so the rats have to eat their way out through his face.
[Brief silence]
Two hundred and one.
Shut up, both of you! I'm sick of looking at you!
You're not sick of looking at Sherry! You spent the last six days watching that videotape where she learns what all her vacuum attachments are for!
[to Cornfed] You said you erased that.
Erased, ran off thousands of copies - it's such a fine line.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Duckman pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
