Ajax quotes from Duckman

Duckman

I made a fool of myself.

Bernice

Don't be upset, Duckman. Lots of religious visionaries were misunderstood, persecuted, even publicly humiliated in their time. Of course, none of them went on live TV waving a magic Etch A Sketch!

Duckman

Well, for one fleeting moment I got to feel the way you get to feel. It felt nice to know that for sure, someone was out there making incredible things happen. Someone was watching over us. Someone I could turn to at any moment of any day. I shouldn't have tried to take that away from you. Not that I'll ever get sucked in again, I'm back! And let me tell you, it'll be a cold day in Hawaii before I just accept the fact that there's anything out there that has that much power over our lives, that we should let control everything we say and do, that we should worship twenty-four hours a day! [laughing]

Ajax

Hey, look - there's a tanker explosion on America's Most Tragic Home Videos.

I see, they're saying television is worshipped like a religion... I hate message shows. [presses a button on his remote, ending the episode]

Bernice

Who is it?

Ajax

Ajax

Bernice

You don't have to knock here, You can just come in here.

Ajax

I knew there was one house I could do that at.

Cornfed, as members of the first family, we've grown disillusioned with our lives of decadence and hubris.

Ajax

And we want to save Dad from his raging eggo.

Mambo

Ajax, I think you mean "ego."

Ajax

Oh. Once again, I've confused Dad's psyche with a toasted breakfast food. Although the image of fighting off a bloodthirsty waffle will forever remain a favourite in the playground of my mind...

Cornfed

I can't let you join us, boys. Regardless of the circumstances, the notion of teaching you to betray your own father paralyzes me with guilt.

He called you a whiny little trough-licking turncoat who talks in a deep voice to overcompensate for his inadequacies with women.

Cornfed

[frowning] We'll start with "12 Ways to Impale a Man on a Palm Frond."