Piccolo quotes from Dragon Ball Z

Piccolo

[Piccolo senses Raditz] Uh? Huh? Huh? What is that? I've never felt so much power! Uh...huh...? It can't be Goku, it's too horrible. Huh! Who is that!? [Raditz lands in front of Piccolo]

Raditz

Excuse me for dropping in. I'm trying ta find a man named Kakarot. I thought you were him.

Piccolo

Well you thought wrong. Now turn around and get outta here before I get angry.

Raditz

Someone's having a bad day...

Piccolo

Believe me, you have no idea. Now get lost!

Raditz

Teh he he he he he he he he he. Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? [Raditz checks his scouter] Power level three hundred and twenty two. I can tell you're not from this planet, but you'd be a fool to attack me...with such an insufficient power. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Piccolo

Now, listen to me. You came here. I have no intention of starting a fight.

Raditz

I do.

Piccolo

Grr...grrr...grr...alright, if that's the way he wants it! [Piccolo blasts Raditz] Ha ha. Huh? [Raditz is unscathed]

Raditz

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Impressive. You actually managed to singe some of my leg hair.

Piccolo

Uh!?

Raditz

But allow me to demonstrate a more effective attack.

Piccolo

Huh...huh!?

Raditz

It's one of my favorites. I call it a double sunday. Now, see if you can follow this one. [Raditz' scouter indicates another power level] Uh? Well, I guess it's your lucky day green man. [Raditz leaves]

Krillin

Oh great! What else could go wrong today!?

Piccolo

I suppose you could make me angry, but I wouldn't advise it.

Raditz

Well, well, well. Look who's decided to drop in. It's little brother. Oh, and he's brought the green man with him. I was wondering who that second insignificant blip on my scouter might be. I confess, I didn't expect it to be you. What a pleasant surprise. I have to hand it to you brother, I didn't think I'd see you till tomorrow. You are a little more resourceful than I thought, and more foolish as well.

We'll see about that!

Raditz

Fair enough. So what bring you here Kakarot? Do tell. Have you already eliminated one hundred Earthlings?

I'm here to get my son back! Where is he!?

That's my daddy!

Raditz

I was afraid you said that.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

Raditz

You are testing my patience Kakarot! I've been more than generous with you so far! Now for the last time, I strongly recommend that you join us!

I don't care what you recommend! The answer is still no!

Wah! That hurt! Wah!

Raditz

You should listen to your big brother.

As far as I'm concerned, I don't have a brother!

Raditz

Alright then, you can have it your way Kakarot. I didn't come here to kill you, but it seems you have left me no choice. It's too bad little brother. I do think you would have found the life of a Saiyan to be quite invigorating.

Piccolo

Alright! I've heard enough talk! You know why we're here so lets get on with it! [Piccolo throws down his weighted clothing]

Huh? Piccolo!? I had no idea you trained with weighted clothing too.

Piccolo

What? Thought you were the only one? Hmm...oh yeah. I feel much lighter.

[after taking off that weighted clothing] That outta do it, Piccolo. Unless you can thing of something else

Piccolo

What am I? Your tailor?

Raditz

I'll tell you what. Seeing as how your power levels are more or less equal, why don't we make a little game out of this? We'll call it "which of you can last against me the longest?" The rules are simple. I cause you both a great deal of pain and you writhe around in agony. The loser is the first to beg for mercy.

Piccolo

Grr...grr...grrr...grrr...that's it. I don't care how strong he is. I'm not gonna stand here and listen to this. I would prefer to die.

Raditz

Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Don't you worry about it green man, we'll get to that in due time.

Hey, don't get ahead o' yourself. You haven't beaten us yet.

Raditz

Trust me Kakarot, I know an easy win when I see one. I'm a Saiyan. It's what I do.

Piccolo

Come on Goku, lets finish this guy. We'll charge him together.

Wait. Not yet. Not until what he's done with Gohan. Now where is he? Where have you hidden him?

Raditz

Right. Your little son? You think you're going to save him? Who's getting a head of himself, now?

This is the last time I'going to ask you! Where IS my son!?!

Raditz

Spare me the fatherly dramatics. You can have a last look at him, if you want. He is locked inside my space pod, behind you.

Huh?

Wah!

Huh?

Daddy, help me!

Be strong Gohan. I'll be down to help you in a minute. Just hold on.

Raditz

Ha! You'll be down alright, but you won't be helping anybody.

Huh?

Raditz

You should say your good byes thought, you won't get another chance.

NO! I won't loose.

Piccolo, are you alright? [sees his arm ripped] Ah!

Piccolo

Don't worry about it. It's not as bad as it looks. I'm not out of this fight yet.

Raditz

[after he burns off Piccolo's arm with a blast] Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, excuse me! Has anyone seen my arm? Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You can't miss it! It's green! Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Piccolo

[about his Special Beam Cannon] Well, the truth is, its untested. I've never tried it against an opponent. I was hoping to save it for a special occasion. It's the attack I planned to use to defeat you.

I see. And now you're using it to help me. You must be terribly disappointed.

Piccolo

No. This'll be a good test. And if it works, I'll be using it on you next.

Heh heh. Figures.

Piccolo

You know, that wasn't actually intended to be funny.

Piccolo

Yes, Goku, with pleasure. I see you had a surprise attack after all, you sly dog. Now, hold him tight, this is the last time I can do this.

Raditz

Kakarot, please tell me you're not going through with this. I am your brother.

Raditz

[to himself] How could that little brat's attack weaken me so much!? [to Goku] Kakarot, you're a fool! How do you expect to dodge that beam and hold me at the same time?

You're right! I can't! We'll both go!

Raditz

What!? That's insane! You'll be killed. Is that what you want?

If its the only way for me to beat you!

Piccolo

Hold on Goku, I'm almost ready! [to himself] So, you're going to sacrifice yourself? Goku...how very noble of you. And how convenient for me. Then again, even if I do kill you, it's only a matter of time before your friends wish you back with the dragonballs...too bad.

Raditz

[while breathing hard and coughing up blood on the ground] Kakarot. How could he? It makes no sense. The fool. Now we're both dead.

Piccolo

No, you die alone. Goku won't be gone for long. I'm guessing his friends will see to it he's back within the week.

Raditz

What? That's impossible. Tell me...how?

Piccolo

Heh, gladly. On this planet, we have something that we call the dragonballs. When all seven balls are gathered together, they have the power to grant any wish, and that includes bringing the dead back to life. So, you see, it's Goku who will have the last laugh.

Raditz

Ha ha ha ha ha. No. I'm afraid you're wrong green man. This device on my face, it's...it's also a transmitter. My Saiyan comrades heard every single word.

Piccolo

Huh?

Raditz

The two of them. Now they'll come. I know they will. [coughs up a lot of blood] They will. I know they will. And once they arrive, you'll be powerless to stop them. There's nothing you could do. They'll seek out these dragonballs and they'll destroy everything in their path. You, and every living thing on this planet will be wiped out. They'll destroy you all. Heh he he.

[also dying] When? When will they come? How long will it take them to get here?

Raditz

One year. The funny thing is...aha ha ha ha ha...they're much stronger than me.

Piccolo

Stronger? One year? Oh no.

Raditz

So enjoy this little victory of your today, it means...it means nothing. You're as good as dead!

Piccolo

Grrr....

Raditz

Aha ha ha. I only hope I'm back in time to see it happen.

Piccolo

Grrr....

Raditz

Don't look so upset. We can't all have the last laugh. Aha ha ha ha ha ha! Aha ha ha ha ha!

Piccolo

Grrrrr...... [Piccolo raises his hand to finish off Raditz]

Piccolo

Before you leave, I have a request to make. This'll sound strange but try to put your emotions aside. I want Goku's son to come with me for special training.

What?

Krillin

No way! You can't fool me mister! Special training...!

Piccolo

Grrr...

Krillin

You just wanna gobble him up!

Piccolo

I do not!

Then tell us why.

Piccolo

Earlier today, this boy showed signs that he might be the most powerful person on this planet. I think I can teach him to control his power, so he can use it to help us defend the Earth when the other Saiyans arrive.

Hmm...

Piccolo

It is a long shot. He might still be too young, we'll see.

Krillin

Yeah. He's probably too young.

Right. I wouldn't chance it if I were you...aha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Hmm...at any rate, I'd say you'd have to ask the boy's mother.

Piccolo

I'm not asking! I'm telling!

Eh!?

Ah?!

Piccolo

Look, nothing else matters right now except beating the other Saiyans in one year! The boy's in good hands. [Piccolo takes Gohan] Aha ha ha. When you wish Goku back, tell him he can look forward to seeing his son one year from now, I'll do what I can with this pampered kid. Hopefully, our work will bare fruit. Remember, tell him one year. [Piccolo leaves with Gohan]

I never was a good babysitter.

Krillin

Now we're done for. So who's gonna tell Chi-Chi?

But, I don't wanna be a fighter. I wanna be an orthopedist when I grow up.

Piccolo

Hm, is that so? Well you still can, but first you have to help us defeat the Saiyans when they arrive. If we can't stop them, they'll wipe out everyone on Earth, then you won't turn out to be anything.

But I'm afraid.

Piccolo

You'll be far more afraid of me if you don't do exactly what I say!

No, I don't have anything. What about food, or a bed. What am I supposed to do out here all day? What about my homework?

Piccolo

I told you I wasn't going to go easy on you. You're on your own.

You can't leave me. That's cruel.

Piccolo

Hey, guess what? Sometimes kid, life is cruel, and don't you forget it.

Piccolo

Gohan, what is your mission? Say it!

To prepare for the Saiyans. To fight! And to beat them.

Piccolo

Then lets go back.

Right.

Piccolo

Huh!? That's it! The projection! It's coming from that Saiyan spacecraft.

[to itself] Wake up Kakarot. Destroy all lifeforms. Wake up Kakarot. Destroy all lifeforms.

Piccolo

Goku's ship...what a legacy to leave for his son. Lets see if we can't bring Gohan back down to Earth.

Piccolo

At least after six months of training, you're not acting like a crybaby anymore.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hey, Piccolo, is it really true that you fought against my father a long time ago?

Piccolo

Yes, but that fight's not finished yet. I have to take care of these two Saiyans first, then your father's next on my list.

You don't have to fight my daddy. There's no need to now because I can tell that you've changed and you're not such a nasty person anymore.

Piccolo

Grrr...

You're like one of the family man. Yeah, you're kinda like my big green uncle.

Piccolo

Uh...uh!? You talk way too much kid. Be quiet and go to sleep. Tomorrow's lesson's gonna be the hardest one you've had yet.

Good night.

Piccolo

[to himself, while Gohan is asleep] Grr...big green uncle!?