I've come from Urmston.
Have you?
There's two ways to get there.
S1 E5Party
(on the Christmas party) Normally it's a few dodgy pies and a disco. You show up, throw up and bog off home.
We're off clubbing! Have a great night, oldies!
Have you not got coats?
Coats? How sad are you?
(reading the Christmas party invite) What does that mean, sake from six thirty? (pronouncing it sake)
Sah-ke!
I'm not being sarky, I'm asking!
I fancy devorai!
As a guest?
As a fabric for my dress!
It sounded like an ethnic boyfriend! Devorai Singh, Devorai Patel...
Do some flipping work!
I was going to go on Mastermind but I can't sit on leather
Is it a sit down toilet?
Yeah
That's the only sort I go on
No it is
Evening all, as dear old Dock Green used to say
S1 E6Nightshift
(while looking in the newspaper for a new job) Something like cleaning, light housework, housekeeping. Here's one, light house-keeper wanted.
(Bren leans over to look at the paper) Lighthouse. Keeper.
What would happen if I asked for a herbal tea?
Nothing.
You mean you wouldn't be fazed by such a request?
No, I mean you wouldn't get one.
I'm warning you, I don't mince my punches.
(reading Tony's get well card) What does that say?
Love Twinkle.
We had to practice handwriting when I was at school! The little boy next door can only write his name in macaroni! How's he going to move on to joined up writing?
He'll have to have a pencil case big enough to hold spaghetti
Where's the cow of catering?
(showing Jean newspaper) She's gone for this.
(reading) Size 24 wedding dress never worn
She's gone to be a lighthouse keeper
Tea break extension may lead to detention
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dinnerladies pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.