[As the debate continues, Julia's impatience begins to show, and she shows signs that she is about to blow!]
CCaller
... and I just don't think I could vote for someone like Mrs. Sugarbaker who is so obviously against school prayer.
JuliaLet me say once again, that I am not against prayer.
These people are never against prayer, per say. They're what I call 14% Christian. They go to church one day and week and spend the next six trying to keep morals and decent values out of our schools and government ---- the very two institutions who should be instilling these things into our young people to begin with. Well, I say there's a reason we call it "One nation under God, indivisible" ... maybe Mrs. Sugarbaker has just forgotten what that phrase was all about.
Julia
(irritated) No, Mr. Brickett. I have not forgotten. I was just thinking that you seem to have forgotten the phrase "Separation of church and state", but the one thing I did forget was just how divisive, dishonest, and distasteful someone like you can be. I've sat here today and listened to you pander to these people, but you don't actually care about them, or you wouldn't be sitting here reinforcing their ignorance and prejudices.
You heard that, Caller. She just called you ignorant and prejudiced!
Julia
(angrily) I do not think everyone in America is ignorant! Far from it!! But we are today, probably, the most uneducated, under read, and illiterate nation in the western hemisphere. Which makes it all the more puzzling to me why the biggest question on your small mind is whether or not little Johnny is gonna recite the Pledge of Allegiance every morning! I'll tell you something else, Mr. Brickett. I have had it up to here with you and your phony issues and your Yanky Doodle yakking! If you like reciting the Pledge of Allegiance everyday then I think you should do it! In the car! In the shower! Wherever the mood strikes you! But don't try to tell me when or where I have to say or do or salute anything, because I am an American too, and that is what being an American is all about! And another thing... I am sick and tired of being made to feel that if I am not a member of a little family with 2.4 children who goes just to Jerry Falwell's church and puts their hands over their hearts every morning that I am unreligious, unpatriotic, and un-American!! Because I've got news for you, Mr. Brickett... all liberals are not kooks, anymore than all conservatives are fascists!! and the last time I checked, God was neither a Democrat nor a Republican! And just for your information, yes I am a liberal, but I am also a Christian. And I get down on my knees and pray everyday ---- on my own turf — on my own time. One of the things that I pray for, Mr. Brickett, is that people with power will get good sense, and that people with good sense will get power... and that the rest of us will be blessed with the patience and the strength to survive the people like you in the meantime!!
Julia
Mary Jo, I have never seen one person eat so much in all my life. I mean, the inside of this car looks like we're on some kind of a pig tour.
Can you believe it? I mean, who would have thought — homemade food in a gas station? I mean, is that just in the South or what? I mean, now you can go in get your tires checked, buy some birth control in the bathroom and have a little turkey and dressing on the way out.
[The ladies discuss breast size, making reference to Suzanne.]
Julia
Suzanne's had those as long as I can remember. She was born with them. Mother and Daddy and I used to sit around and just stare at them. It's just the spin of the ole' genetic wheel. I think I've been amply compensated.
It means Suzanne got the boobs, and she (pointing to Julia) got the brains.
I don't think I like the turn this conversation has taken.
Oh, c'mon... big boobs/tiny brains... it's a story as old as the hills — I didn't write it.
Mary Jo!!! I cannot believe you would even repeat that!!
Oh, I'm just kidding. It's just the Littlest Angel's way of kind of evening the score.
What's this "Littlest Angel" stuff anyway?
It's the name of a training bra, Suzanne. I'm sure you wouldn't know anything about that.
A training bra... you little people have to train yours, and you call us dumb.....
Julia, what did he say to you?
Julia
Charlene, why do you always want to know these things?
Oh I'm just curious. Come on, we all told.
Julia
All right Charlene, if you must know he said, "Mmm-mmm. Lookin' good. I want it. I need it. Got to-got to-have it-now."
Well, did you all hear what she said about that flushing? I mean they don't even have port-a-potties. Now I'm serious you all, I think we should just rethink this.
WLWilderness Leader Connie
Five minutes, busses are rolling.
Julia
Suzanne!! Bernice has put out twelve hundred, non-refundable dollars. We have all just sat through a four-hour lecture. Now I don't want to go any more than you do, but I'm telling you, I have rolled my sleeping bag, I have backed my pack and I have filled my canteen.
Julia
I'm saying, "Get on the bus, Gus."
[Suzanne enters, obviously distraught.]
Julia
Something wrong, Suzanne?
Yes, something is wrong. I'm driving down the street this morning, the sun is shining, I'm young, I'm beautiful. I look in the rearview mirror and what do I see? There is a hair growing out of my chin. I mean, have you ever in all your life? I simply could not believe my eyes. Here I am, hardly 30 years old, and there's this hair sticking out right here. It's unbelievable. Obviously, I'm being punished for some heinous sin, like telling Kyle Westheimer's parents that he is, in fact, a bisexual. But all I know is, whatever it is, I did not merit this.
You told some guy's parents that he's a bisexual?
That's right. I always tell the parents. And I'm not sorry either. I don't believe in bisexuals. I figure the rest of us have to choose, so why shouldn't they?
(leaning her chin in toward Julia) Julia, do you see anything else there?
Julia
No, Suzanne, I don't.
Good. Cause if I get another one, I'm just gonna have to get a gun and shoot myself through the head.
Why don't you shoot yourself in the chin? Maybe that way you'll hit the root.
I'm glad you all find this so amusing.
Oh c'mon, Suzanne. Don't you think you're being just a little bit shallow?
No, I do not Charlene. I don't think it is shallow not to want to go through life wearing a goatee.
[Julia accompanies Anthony to juvenile hall to give Tyrone some tough love after his "little brother" gets arrested]
I want to know what you're gonna do to compensate Julia and all the others to whom you've brought pain and sorrow.
TTyrone
I guess I don't know yet.
Well, you're gonna have plenty of time to think about it. This is your third offense, and they're gonna throw the book at you this time.
TTyrone
I know. I don't even know why I did it.
You just wanted to screw up because that's what everybody expects of you. Well I'm gonna surprise you, Tyrone. I'm gonna wait around here for you to get out. I'm gonna come to visit you every week. I'm gonna check on you. I'm gonna hound you like a dog. And when you do get out of here, I'm gonna expect to see something a whole lot better than what I'm looking at now.
TTyrone
I can't believe you came. My own sister didn't even come.
So what, Tyrone. You think that you're the only kid in the world whose family doesn't care about him? Well let me tell you something. I grew up in a neighborhood where people put cigarettes out on your head. I never met my father, and my mother was an addict who left me behind when I was two weeks old — I didn't see her again 'til I was nine. Then she wrote and said she was coming. One day she showed up at school after I had told everybody how beautiful my mama was and how she was coming just to see me. You know what she did, Tyrone? She got out of her car. She walked across the playground and picked up some other kid and hugged him and starting crying and calling him by my name. She did that right in front of everybody. I was her son and she didn't even know me. So you see... I've been where you are right now. And if it hadn't been for that one person, my grandmama, loving me and kicking my butt everyday I'd still be there.
TTyrone
I'm sorry I let you down.
I'm gonna be here every week. You can count on that Tyrone.
GGUARD
I'm sorry, but your time is up.
One more thing, man. You know that birthday wish that you asked me about? I wished you were my son.
TTyrone
I love you. :[hugs Anthony]
[The guard escorts Tyrone out. Julia comes up to Anthony]
Julia
Anthony, I want you to know that I've never been prouder of anyone in my life.....than I am of you at this moment. :she hugs him Let's go home.
Oh, it was just one of Charlene's brothers again. What's his name there? Odell. He's probably just wanting to catch her up on the hillbilly news, like they got 'em a new scarecrow or something like that.
Julia
You know, Suzanne, I don't like that word "hillbilly." Just because Charlene comes from a big family and they live on a farm, doesn't mean they sit around like Mammy and Pappy Yokum, smokin' corn cob pipes and drinkin' moonshine.
Well, I'm sorry Julia, but I don't think it's in good taste to have that many children. Unless of course, you're Mormon.
Julia
What does that have to do with it?
I don't know, they just seem to handle it better. They form those singin' groups, stuff like that.
[Discussing Charlene's little brother:]
Let me get this straight. He's never had a girlfriend, he knits sweaters and he works at the beauty shop?
Well, he goes to Three Rivers Junior College, too. What are you gettin' at?
Well, I don't mean to get personal Charlene, but has it ever occurred to you that maybe Odell is involved in some homosexual activity?
Suzanne! I mean, just because a person is sensitive and artistic doesn't mean he's gay. Not that that would matter to me anyway.
Julia
Well I think he sounds like an interesting and talented young man.
I think he sounds like a woman.
Bear in mind that this comes from the lips of a woman who thought there was a patron saint for homosexuals named, "Saint Francis of a Sissy."
Women are always getting a bad rap for wanting men to make money. But there is an absolute, bona-fide scientific reason for it. Haven't you all heard of Darwin?
Julia
You mean Darwin Sanders who used to take care of our yard?
No, silly, Charles Darwin. Don't you read?
Julia
Yes, Suzanne. Yes, I do. But you don't, so I thought — well — go on.
[Charlene shows up for work with big news — so excited that she can barely speak.]
Julia
Good morning, Charlene. Mary Jo says you have some news for us.
[Charlene screams with elation under her breath.]
Julia
Must be good news!
Charlene, if this is something stupid like Pam Ewing's coming back to Dallas, I don't want to hear it.
Julia
You're getting married?!!
I didn't tell them! It just about killed me, but I didn't.
Julia
When did this happen?
Friday night. I told Mary Jo already, but I couldn't get ahold of you, and I wanted to tell you all in one big swoop....I'm getting married!!
Julia
I'm so happy for you!
[Meanwhile, Suzanne has been inspecting Charlene's engagement ring with her jewelers loupe.]
Oh, nice job, Charlene! Now....who're you marrying?
Well, I thought so, but y'know it never hurts to ask.
Designing Women · 255 quotes
