Dark Danny quotes from Danny Phantom

Paulina

[to Danny] I baked some cookies for you.

I did your math homework.

Danny

Now, ladies. You can't influence the judge with cookies and - [sees the papers Star is holding] Whoa! Is this homework done all the way through next semester?

Mm-hmm.

Danny

This pleases me. [Dash grabs him and holds him in the air]

Dash

Hey, Fen-toid! It's only been two hours and I'm already tired of you hogging all the hotties! [Danny snaps his fingers, Paulina kicks Dash, making him drop Danny] Ow! Aah!

Get him! [Girls chase Dash away]

Sam

Hi, my name's Sam Manson and my happy princess talent is... goth haiku. Despair without end! [whispers to Danny] Dora's a ghost! Utter blackness, nothingness. [whispers again] Dora's a ghost! [loudly] Dora is a ghost!

Danny

So that's your big statement? Dora's a ghost? I mean, what does that have to do with... wait, Dora is a ghost!

Sam

[with Tucker's campaign] You're just going about this the wrong way, Tucker.

Danny

Yeah, your campaign is all about victory through technology and the triumph of machine over man. It's kinda creepy.

Sam

So we changed your lame official campaign platform. [hands Tucker a list with the new ideas]

Tucker

[reading] Graffiti art classes? Rage against the PTA meetings? Mini-skirt Fridays? Okay, that's good.

Danny

Yeah, that was mine.

Maddie

There's only one place that treats ecto-acne!

Danny

[hopefully] Please say hospital, please say hospital... [scene shifts to FentonWorks in quarantine, disappointed] Why didn't she just say hospital?

Vlad

I knew you'd come through, Daniel. All it took was the proper motivation. Of course, I'm still weak beyond measure, so... bygones?

Danny

[casually] Bygones.

Danny

[after Vlad attacks him numerous times] Aren't you at least gonna make some stupid crack about my father? Or a lame come-on about my mom?

Vlad

No, dear boy. "Funny Joke Around Vlad" isn't here today! [attacks him again]

Danny

You've been spying on me?! Okay, I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You really are one seriously crazed-up fruitloop.

Vlad

A fruitloop would not have been able to make his first million with a series of invisible burglaries! A fruitloop would never have thought to overshadow enough millionaires to become one of the richest men on the planet! I! AM! NOT! A! FRUIT! LOOP! And I am not a villain. All I ever wanted...was love.

Danny

[sarcastic] Oh, yeah, nothing loopy about that.

Danny

Close... but I lost 'em!

Guess again, kiddo!

Danny

What's the matter with you two?! I'm not doing anything! Why can't you just leave me alone?!

A prepubescent specter operating freely? Unacceptable!

Danny

Hey! I have totally hit puberty! [reaches into his shirt and pulls out a white chest hair] See?! That's totally a chest hair.

Danny

[After being hunted by Guys In White] Could this week get any worse? [spots Sam and Gregor coming out of the mall]

Wait, Sam. There's something I must tell you right here and now.

Sam

Okay, what?

You have little tiny strand of spaghetti hanging from your lip. Right here. [kisses Sam]

Danny

Okay. Now, it's officially worse.

Danny, I wish to talk to you. If you're done talking to yourself.

Danny

Uh... ha, oh uh, he... Sure Gregor. What's up?

I am not blind. You do not like me...

Danny

Gregor, that's not...

Eh, let me finish. You do not like me because you want to protect your friend Sam. And I respect this.

Danny

It's not just that.

You like her more than just friends?

Danny

Well...

You hesitate. Which means you're unsure. I am not, and I'm going to ask her out.

Sam

[about Gregor] Ugh, he's not my boyfriend. I dumped him as soon as I found out you were right about him being a phony. Apparently, that is the only way a guy could like me.

Tucker

That's not true.

Danny

That's totally not true! There's a million reasons a boy could like you. I mean... you're smart, you're fun, you're cool, you're pretty- [stops abruptly after catching himself; Sam blushes] Why am I still talking? I am such a spaz. Still friends?

Sam

Pssh. The best.

Sam

Which reminds me, how did you convince my parents to let me spend an entire summer with your parents?

You know, I think the Fentons are wonderful. I think we should let Sam take a cross-country trip with them!

And I agree with you. Let's never speak of this again.

Danny

Uh, let's just say I finally got under their skin.

Danny

You're... helping me?

Dash

Well, duh! You've only been helping us for, like, ever!

Paulina

[kissing Danny on the cheek] "Paulina Fenton." Hee, I finally wrapped my mind around it!

Sam

Okay, I'm feeling relieved and nauseated at the same time.

WE LOVE YOU!

Sam

Destroy them, Danny! Find the gem that did this AND TEAR THE STUFFING OUT OF EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!

Danny

Somehow, I don't think that'll be necessary... May I have the Gem of Form?

Say the magic word!

Sam

Die?

Danny

Please?

Danny

[pretending to be hurt] Uuuuugh, uh, wha-? What happened? I'm just a helpless, impressionable teenager who was minding my own business when- [winks at Sam and Tucker] - boom!

Sam

[smiles then gasps] Oh my gosh! The Mayor shot Danny!

Tucker

[pretends to weep] He zapped an innocent kid! [everyone turns and glares at Vlad]

Vlad

What? I... NO!... I mean... [the crowd points and yells at him accusingly. Jack and Maddie run over to Danny]

Danny! Danny! Are you all right?

Maddie

[nuzzles Danny] Oh my baby!

Vlad

Please! I can explain! [glares at Danny and Danny smiles]