[yelling] YOU DID THIS, YOU SWINDLER!!
MMMechianic Mike
I was trying to tell you something like this could happen. Now if we can calm down and discuss this like rational adults.
[yelling] I WILL DROWN YOU IN BARBECUE SAUCE AND HAVE CHRIS EAT YOUR BODY!!
You shouldn't just automatically assume I'd be up for that!
You are so selfish! There's no "I" in "friend," Chris.
Hey, you want me to fix your car or what?
Absolutely not! Since it appears my friend has developed a sudden aversion to cannibalism...
Then I will simply have to take my business elsewhere!
You know anyone else will charge you twice what I do.
[yells] BLOCKED AT EVERY TURN!
Maybe we can take it to the dealer?
The closest one's in Manila.
And it closed twelve years ago.
Oh. Can you even fix this?
Sure, but it's not going to be cheap. The thromdibulator's shot, and I can see from here it took the Oscillation Overthruster with it. You see?
Well, sure. Any child could see it's the thromdibulator.
[opens the garage] What are you guys doing in my shop?
When I said "hide," TWICE, how could I have made that more clear?
Don't you play the victim with me! We can go back and forth all night about who set who's dog free!
But I know you've been replacing my engine with junk!
You got me. All right, Dan. After this weekend, I'll fix your car up the right way.
[furious] You fix it now!
I can't order the parts until some money comes in. Which happens this weekend. Now please leave me alone.
[picks up cake mixer out of the inside hood of the car] I'm taking this cake mixer.
If you find your dog, I would like my wallet back.
[Dan kicks the door open to the locker room]
There you are! [to Chris] Chris, prepare your jaws of death!
For the last time, I'm not eating anyone, because it's gross!
All right! Wait, are you crying?
Uh... Okay look, I'm here to pummel you, and for some reason I feel weird about doing that while you're crying, so could you stop?
Oh, sure. I'm-I'm sorry about that.
Hey, uh, maybe if you could just put Dan's car back together, we could all forget this awkwardness.
I'd be willing to accept that.
I can't. I don't own my garage anymore. Or I won't as of Monday morning.
You know, Dan, you put up your car, you won the fight. Technically you could have owned this shop.
Keep it. What would I do with a mechanical shop? Besides, crushing Elise was reward enough.
You got lucky! You littl-!
Whoa, whoa! All's well that ends well, right?
And trust me, better to get out before you get hooked. Thank you, Dan. You saved my business.
You don't have to thank me, Mechanic Mike. But you DO have to fix my car whenever it breaks, and never charge me a penny.
[Chris, Elise, and Mechanic Mike walk away after Dan drives off]
Huh. Guess I forgot to- [Dan's car explodes] Yeah, that's the thromdibulator.
[Mechanic Mike throws the thromdibular to the ground as he, Elise, and Chris walk away while Dan's car is caught on fire as the episode ends]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dan Vs. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
