Horatio Caine quotes from CSI: Miami

Horatio

No friction burn, right? Means no seat belt.

Eric

So he might be our shooter?

Horatio

Yes. The question then becomes: Why would you shoot your own pilot?

Horatio

Calleigh, the bullet?

Calleigh

There was no bullet.

Horatio

Well how did the pilot get shot?

Calleigh

He didn't.

Horatio

I didn't know they made body armour in triple extra large.

They also make jock straps in that size, but you wouldn't know anything about that, either!

Horatio

We are still missing a component: the Action Switch isn't here.

We covered that scene on our hands and knees, we covered it all.

Horatio

[Giving Speed a serious stare] Let me say it again: it's not here!

Megan

You miss it, don't you? Being on the front lines.

Horatio

The simple answer is no.

Megan

I saw you out there. Why leave something you're good at?

Horatio

You ever bet on a horse race?

Megan

Life's enough of a gamble.

Horatio

Some horses run better in a harness--and the science is my discipline.

Megan

Horatio, what are you doing?

Horatio

I'm giving Al's wife his wedding ring back.

Megan

That's evidence.

Horatio

I know that.

Megan

You can't just give it away!

Horatio

I'm not giving it away. I'm givin' it back.

Horatio

Speed!

Yeah!

Horatio

What does it say on the stern?

Luna Nueva. Moon New.

Eric

It's "New Moon."

Eric

Like Capone's vault... empty.

Horatio

Those are your eyes talking. Look harder.

Horatio

Are you going to rebut everything I say?

Yes.

Horatio

Excellent.

You said our entire genetic make-up is in one cell... how do we escape that?

Horatio

Your family? You stop procreating.

Horatio

Here is what we're gonna do. Go to this address, with a photograph of Douglas and ask Artie if he has recently sold any strawberry-scented rubber teddies.

Eric

Artie's Adult Playground?

Horatio

You know Artie?

Eric

Do you know Artie?

Horatio

Just go to the address, Eric.

Megan

Who would want to kill a priest?

Horatio

Nowadays...anyone.

Horatio

Okay, I can tell you that this was done with an excimer laser and its inscription point was no more than three microns in diameter.

Eric

[Chuckles.] Okay, how do you know that, though? Were you a jewel thief in another life or what?

Horatio

Well, in another life, I incarcerated many a jewel thief.

Delko

What is it?

Horatio

More importantly, what was it?

Calleigh

That's our last lifter!

Horatio

(impatiently) There are more in the van!

(shuffling on her knees to look at the print) Now that's juciy!

Horatio

Yes it is!