Sooner or later, everybody gets replaced.
Talk to me when it happens to you.
S4 E20Dead Ringer
How many cops are in town this weekend?
Twenty thousand. And the road is closed to civilians.
Spring break with a badge. Well, this ought to be fun. Every suspect's in law enforcement.
Well, the race isn't the only reason these guys come to town. It's a good party.
Too much running, too much partying?
L.A. S-E-S. They go all out.
Work hard, play hard, die young, leave a good-looking corpse.
WWWill Warshall
If I'm going to kill a guy, I'm not going to do it with twenty thousand cops around.
Well ... sounds like you've been giving it some serious thought.
WWWill Warshall
Well, every cop does. My way? A sniper shot ... two hundred meters out. Coleman'd never even hear the "am" in "blam."
SMrs. Senteno
I married a cop. With that comes alcohol and women to take the edge off. First time ... he said it meant nothing. He promised never to do it again. By the third time ... I told him to stop confessing. I wasn't going anywhere.
Don't ask, don't tell.
SMrs. Senteno
I wasn't willing to trade my family for the flavor of the month. That doesn't make me pathetic.
Will Warshall, this is Catherine Willows, from the Crime Lab.
WWWill Warshall
There's something very wrong in the world if a woman like you is only handling test tubes.
If you think that's all I handle, you're not as smart as you think.
S4 E21Turn of the Screws
This is the first time a roller coaster has derailed in Clark County. Huge criminial and civil liabitilities issues, so keep it quiet. Photograph the scene. Bag and tag the detritus. Forklift anything bigger than Greg. We're going to put up a tent on the other side of the parking lot for crime scene reconstruction. Questions?
Yeah. What's that guy doing so far away from the others?
Curious, isn' t it? [walks away]
So when he asks if anybody has any questions he's not really asking?
There are three things in human life that are important, the first is to be kind, the second one is to be kind and the third one is to be kind.
Henry James.
Very good, author of one of the greatest horror stories ever written, Turn of the Screw, and I'm looking for one.
A screw?
Yes.
I found something a little unusual for a roller coaster. Not a sailor but a...
Semen. Sex on the roller coaster?
Or some kid shaking hands with Shorty.
The release of epinephrine and adrealine while riding a roller coaster can produce a stimlatory effect. It enhances ejaculation.
Right.
Shoots my theory to hell. Nobody tampers with their sex machine.
S4 E22No More Bets
I thought that Nick was the best candidate for the position.
Why?
Because he didn't care whether he got the job or not.
That's a stupid reason.
Some people in this town think I'm a murderer.
Some people in this town know you're a murderer.
They used to tell me back in the day that if you were caught cheating you'd get a couple whacks on the hand with a ball peen hammer.
Ow.
Second time you got caught you'd lose a limb.
Third time?
A long walk in the desert with a shovel.
I'm curious. What bothers you more? The fact that you couldn't pin a murder on me....or that Catherine cashed my check? [Grissom gives him a look] There were no strings on that money.
S4 E23Bloodlines
Hey, hey, Nick, Congratulations on your almost promotion. Seriously, you deserved it.
Wow, that's really hard for you isn't it?
Yeah, it is.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.