CSI: Crime Scene Investigation quotes

0 total quotes

All Seasons
 Season 1   Season 2   Season 3   Season 4   Season 5   Season 6  

'Sara: So, ladies of the wedding party, you get a free course in the forensics of sexual intercourse. Secrets of our trade. Lynn, when you had your exam for sexual assault a SART nurse makes a clock like this. (turns around and picks up a piece of chalk to illustrate on the blackboard) This is the vagina. It does tell a monologue. Some bruising is normal when sex occurs. Injuries at 11:00 ... 12:00 or 1:00 indicate consensual sex or what we would call "avid." Injuries around the dinner hour ... five, six, or seven, indicate forced entry. The woman hasn't done anything to help her partner thus sustaining serious bruising.
Sgt. O'Riley: Sidle, I'm going to be just outside the door.

'Catherine: (alarmed) What are you doing?
Grissom: Bones are porous. They stick to the tongue (puts piece in mouth again) and this doesn't stick. (puts it back down) It's a piece of rock.
Catherine: I-I hope you had your hepatitis B shot. (Grissom gets up and starts searching for more bones, Catherine follows) Did you? (Cuts to Grissom and Catherine walking toward a cadet, who may have found a piece of bone)
Grissom: Could be a piece of wrist bone.
Catherine: Well, do you want to suck on it? To be sure?

(When Grissom wants a blood sample)
Todd Coombs: This is harassment. I've already given you guys a DNA sample.
Grissom: You know that bone marrow donation you gave to your brother? I checked your medical records, his body rejected it and he died. I'm guessing that's when you found out about your unique condition.
Todd Coombs: The doctors explained it. I'm a creature of myth.
Grissom: A chimera. A head of a lion, body of a goat, tail of a dragon. You're a genetic anomoly. One person two completely different sets of DNA.

'Warrick: Mountain lions are brutal.
Grissom: And smart... this one evidently knows how to use a scalpel.

Archie: Is that who I think it is?
Grissom: Who?
Archie: Toby Arcane. "Freak man".
Grissom: What makes him a "freak" besides that shirt?
Archie: All I can say he's not for the faint of heart.

'Greg: I would never doubt your word.
Catherine': Smart man.

'Nick: Shut up. She was not.
Warrick: I saw her in action.
Nick: Really?
Warrick: Yeah, she was.
Nick: Catherine?
Catherine: (walks in and smiles) I was what?
Warrick: I was just telling Nick how you were a big bully in high school.
Catherine: A bully? All right, I guess I was. But, I mean, not the kind that people want to take a gun out and shoot.
Warrick: No.
Nick: No, no. You were the kind that guys fall all over themselves trying to impress.
Catherine: (smiling) Like you, Nick, huh? (Cath puts a hand on his shoulder for emphasis, he gets it. And sits down) Oh, Nick...what were you in high school?
Nick: Me? I was, uh...I was "dependable".
Catherine: Dependable.
Nick: Mmhmm.
Catherine: Dependable jock, dependable stoner?
Nick: No. Never a strap, never a smoker. Just all-around "dependable" guy, I guess.
Warrick: What Nick's trying to say he was unpopular. (Cath laughs. Sara walks into the break room)
Sara: Nick, Ronny's got something on Liquid Man, says it's hot.
Nick: Great. (gathers things and gets up)
Warrick: Hey Sara, what were you in high school?
Sara': Science nerd. (Nick walks past her and sniffs)
Nick: You changed? (whispers) But you still smell. Let's go. (they leave)
Catherine: So that leaves you, Warrick. What were you?
Warrick: Oh, I was short, I had big feet, thick glasses.
Catherine: You?
Warrick: Yeah. I got pushed around by all the guys and never got any play from the girls.
Catherine: The girls didn't even notice your eyes?
Warrick: No, they used to tease me about my eyes. Called me names.
Catherine: Aww, well, what do they know? They're your best feature.
(Sara is working on the decomp and Hank finds her in the lab, and she excuses herself for a minute)

Archie: Whoa-ho!
Warrick: What you got?
Archie: Ultimate power. I could program this bad boy to make me a cup of coffee.

(Nick and Grissom discover a skeleton in the wall of a house)
Nick: Ten bucks says the owner sells the house.
Grissom: By law you've got to disclose everything. Three bedrooms, two baths, and a skeleton.

(When a corpse found on the roadside turns out to be a LAPD SES officer)
Catherine: So much for the race.
Grissom: At least we didn't come last.

(After Grissom pulls the SUV off of the road during her run)
Catherine: What are you taking a leak? The follow car is supposed to stay with the runner! We've been training for months, man. 20 C.S.I.s, 120 miles.
Grissom: Don't blame me. Blame him. (shines his flashlight on a corpse)

Annie: L.A. over 200 criminalists and you gotta bring your own guy in?
Brass: Well, Rick is like a vampire, he needs to be invited in.
Annie: If this goes to court, Warrick's going to have to come back and testify.
Warrick: Well, you got beaches, bikinis. Free trip to L.A. ? I'm down.

(About trace evidence)
Grissom: What's it used for?
Hodges: Mostly Greg-Sanders-Wear. Um, names, airband logos, inane sayings, anything that could be put on a t-shirt.

'Nick:(walks in) You brought the foundation of the house to our lab.
Grissom: It's a six-by-three-foot section. When the concrete dried it preserved a partial impression of our Jane Doe. Did you find out anything about the house?
Nick: I pulled the permits. Summercliff was built five years ago on nothing but desert.
Grissom: That would explain why the body was so desiccated.
Nick: House was sold subsequent to completion, so the homeowner isn't a suspect. Homicide is running a missing persons check.
Grissom: Well, if it wasn't for a leaky pipe she might have been down there forever.
Nick: I think our killer was counting on that.
(talking to Catherine about where she used to work as stripper)

Archie: Nevada State Correctional Facility. Pretty casual for a prison.
Grissom: It's medium-security...
Nick: ...for nicer criminals.
Archie: [laughing] Right.