Nick: Hey, Greg.
Greg: Shh. I might be looking at the mother of my children here.
Nick: Somebody's been putting in way too much overtime.
Greg: No, this is serious. I had a date last night. And this girl has the most impossible green eyes. Just, BAM. Shoulder-length blonde hair, intelligent. And she smells so good.
Nick: Cute toes?
Greg: Oh, ideal. And none longer than the big toe. Both feet. But you know I need to know what is on the inside.
Nick: What's in her heart?
Greg: No, her DNA. This girl has got some fine epithelials.
Nick: Dude, you're sick. Man, you have officially lost it.
Greg: There's a guy in Louisville, he charges 300 clams to test your spouse's underwear for foreign DNA. Now that guy is sick. I'm just a romantic.
Nick: Whatever happened to getting to know someone over coffee? Letting the relationship evolve. Romantic is sending flowers, not bogarting her skin cells.
Greg: Oh that's boring.

Nick: Hey, Grissom. You wanna talk to me?
Grissom: Yeah. Sit down. (pause) I heard that, uh, Kelly Gordon may be a suspect in your murder case.
Nick: Yeah.
Grissom: Is that a problem?
Nick: No. No, it's not a problem. Hey, by the way I heard the tape. I did a voice comparison. Sylvia Mullins is the other voice on that tape. She's Walter Gordon's ex-business manager so I'm pretty sure she had something to do with my kidnapping.
Grissom: But now she's dead.
Nick: Yeah.
Grissom: So... it's over.
Nick: Yeah.
Grissom: Good.
Nick: Good.

Nick: Hey.
Sara: Hey!
Nick: Wow. You look...
Sara: Happy?
Nick: Smug. Actually.

Nick: Hey.
Warrick: Hey.
Catherine: Nicky, how's it going?
Warrick: What's up?
Nick: Good, good. (he looks at the painting) Are you putting one of Lindsey's drawings into evidence? (Cath and Warrick laugh)
Catherine: If only her artwork brought in this kind of dough I wouldn't need to worry about her college tuition.
Nick: Yeah, I heard your missing person was a "painting".
Warrick: (scoffs) At least we solved our case.
Nick: Oh! (Nick puts a hand to his chest as if wounded)
Catherine: Keep walking. (Nick laughs and leaves the room)

Nick: Hmm... hello, sweetheart.
Sara: End cap.
Nick: Pipe bomb.

Nick: How do you get one vic, let alone four... To sit still while you put a bullet between their eyes.
Grissom: They were praying.
Nick: Yeah, for mercy.
Grissom: For whoever was shooting them.

Nick: How do you know all this crap?
Grissom: It's our job to know stuff.

Nick: How long for DNA?
Greg: Well, give me something to compare it to. Get me the fiancée's blood.
Nick: Well, I can't just give you her blood. That takes a court order.
Greg: I'm open 24 hours.

Nick: I can't believe I used to live in a place like this.
Sara: And here I had all this respect for you.

Nick: I need your shirt.
Kristy: Why is it every time we meet you're wanting me to take my clothes off?
Nick: Because every time we meet you put yourself in a position where you have to take them off.

Nick: I was sweating bullets looking at those photos.
Catherine: Did the judge exclude the dice?
Nick: No. No, just my credibility.

Nick: I wired the target to the car's alarm system. Gotta make sure we hear it.
Catherine: Always thinking there, Nicky, aren't ya?
[They get into their cars and buckle up]
Nick: Okay, remember full out the fifth then hit the nitrous and hang on.
Catherine: You just try to keep up.

Nick: I've never seen junkies shoot up in the face before.
Woman: It's not smack, it's silicone. Gives you good cheek bones.
Mercedes: The ones who can't buy silicone... shoot motor oil.
Nick: Do they?
Mercedes: Calm down, pretty boy. We're not the monsters. The real freaks are the suit-and-ties want to take a walk on the wild side, before sneaking back to the wife and kids. Want to go?
Nick (shakes his head): Mm-mm.

Nick: Man, do you turn it on like this at your seminars?
Grissom: People actually pay to go to my seminars, Nick. We've I.D.'d the dog.
Nick: Well, if he's got bits of jogger hanging out of his mouth, cuff him.

Nick: Okay, back to midgets.
Grissom: Nick? "Dwarves" or "little people."