CSI: Crime Scene Investigation quotes
0 total quotesMelanie Grace: Does he ever talk?
Sara: Yeah. At, uh, random intervals.
Grissom: I was admiring your reaching tool.
Melanie Grace: I have one I use to wipe my tush with. Would you like to take a look at that, too?
Sara: Yeah. At, uh, random intervals.
Grissom: I was admiring your reaching tool.
Melanie Grace: I have one I use to wipe my tush with. Would you like to take a look at that, too?
Mia: Hey. Want to talk about semen?
Sara: Okay. (Mia hands Sara the file) Okey-dokey.
Mia: The semen on the vic's doorknob and the neighbor's doorknob is consistent with Trip's DNA. So, I'm thinking that Trip put a trophy condom on his neighbor's door and then transferred a trace of his reproductive material back onto his own doorknob.
Sara: You've uh, you've heard of trophy condoms?
Mia (chuckles): Sara, I went to college.
Sara: Okay. (Mia hands Sara the file) Okey-dokey.
Mia: The semen on the vic's doorknob and the neighbor's doorknob is consistent with Trip's DNA. So, I'm thinking that Trip put a trophy condom on his neighbor's door and then transferred a trace of his reproductive material back onto his own doorknob.
Sara: You've uh, you've heard of trophy condoms?
Mia (chuckles): Sara, I went to college.
Mia: Nine vibrators, five plugs and four strands of beads.
Greg: And a partidge in a pear tree. Some kids are happy playing in the sandbox, others want every toy in the store. And apparently these are dishwasher safe.
Mia: I'll swab the nooks and crannies for semen and vaginal secretions and epthelials, but don't get your hopes up.
Greg: Oh, my money's on bag number two.
Mia: Twenty-six used condoms.
Greg: Just like being back in college, right?
Mia: Sara said you didn't lose your virginity until you were twenty-two.
Greg [Ignoring her]: Grissom and I figured that they practiced safe sex so we checked their trash. Check them inside and out, please.
Mia: I've analyzed condoms before, Greg. Just not in bulk.
Greg: And a partidge in a pear tree. Some kids are happy playing in the sandbox, others want every toy in the store. And apparently these are dishwasher safe.
Mia: I'll swab the nooks and crannies for semen and vaginal secretions and epthelials, but don't get your hopes up.
Greg: Oh, my money's on bag number two.
Mia: Twenty-six used condoms.
Greg: Just like being back in college, right?
Mia: Sara said you didn't lose your virginity until you were twenty-two.
Greg [Ignoring her]: Grissom and I figured that they practiced safe sex so we checked their trash. Check them inside and out, please.
Mia: I've analyzed condoms before, Greg. Just not in bulk.
Mr. Durbin: Sons of bitches! I'm gonna sue your ass into the ground. I hope you know that. Yeah. I'm gonna own you. I'm gonna own this whole place. In fact, maybe that's where I'll live. I'm just gonna move in here.
Catherine: Let me guess, he lawyered up?
Brass: Yeah. He stopped talking right after I told him we blew up his house.
Catherine: Let me guess, he lawyered up?
Brass: Yeah. He stopped talking right after I told him we blew up his house.
Mrs. Senteno: I married a cop. With that comes alcohol and women to take the edge off. First time ... he said it meant nothing. He promised never to do it again. By the third time ... I told him to stop confessing. I wasn't going anywhere.
Sara: Don't ask, don't tell.
Mrs. Senteno: I wasn't willing to trade my family for the flavor of the month. That doesn't make me pathetic.
Sara: Don't ask, don't tell.
Mrs. Senteno: I wasn't willing to trade my family for the flavor of the month. That doesn't make me pathetic.
Nick: (laughing) Marco? (Warrick dives under the water and gets the evidence and comes back up)
Warrick: Polo.
Nick: (teasing) You want to get out of there, sir? Pool closed at sundown.
Catherine: (joining in on teasing) Can I get you a towel, sir? (Warrick gets out of the pool)
Warrick: (dryly): Yeah, please.
Warrick: Polo.
Nick: (teasing) You want to get out of there, sir? Pool closed at sundown.
Catherine: (joining in on teasing) Can I get you a towel, sir? (Warrick gets out of the pool)
Warrick: (dryly): Yeah, please.
Nick: (Looking at his beeper before going to the lab across the hall) You beeped me from across the hall
Greg: Uh yeah, I waved, you didn't look up.
Greg: Uh yeah, I waved, you didn't look up.
Nick: Are you baggin' Z's right now, man?
Hodges: I was just having the greatest dream.
Warrick: You were out.
Hodges: It was the 80's and I had this Don Johnson beard, you know, the Miami Vice stubble. It just gave me this air of danger. My lady loved it.
Hodges: I was just having the greatest dream.
Warrick: You were out.
Hodges: It was the 80's and I had this Don Johnson beard, you know, the Miami Vice stubble. It just gave me this air of danger. My lady loved it.
Nick: Catherine. say, "Silk silk silk"
Catherine: Silk silk silk.
Nick: Now what do cows drink?
Catherine: Water? Why?
Nick: Never mind.
Catherine: Silk silk silk.
Nick: Now what do cows drink?
Catherine: Water? Why?
Nick: Never mind.
Nick: Feces?
Grissom: Yep.
Nick: Under the fingernail?
Grissom: Yep. [Nick looks up with pained expression]
Nick: He wiped his own ass?
Grissom: [laughs] No, Nick, it's not human. It's scat. Could be from a bat.
Nick: Bat scat.
Grissom: Bat guano.
Grissom: Yep.
Nick: Under the fingernail?
Grissom: Yep. [Nick looks up with pained expression]
Nick: He wiped his own ass?
Grissom: [laughs] No, Nick, it's not human. It's scat. Could be from a bat.
Nick: Bat scat.
Grissom: Bat guano.
Nick: Guy in the robe flagged down an officer.
Grissom: Guy in the robe is a monk, Nick.
Nick: Yeah. Well. [Nick looks at the monk for several seconds then turns back to Grissom] He's a quiet monk.
Grissom: Guy in the robe is a monk, Nick.
Nick: Yeah. Well. [Nick looks at the monk for several seconds then turns back to Grissom] He's a quiet monk.