Nick Stokes quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Grissom

Did you try this coffee?

Nick

Mm-mm.

Grissom

The last cup I had tasted like motor oil.

Greg

Oh, don't touch it. That's my pot!

Grissom

Your pot?

Greg

Yeah, you know, from my own private stash. Blue Hawaiian -- $40 a pound. Only grown a couple times a year on the Big Island hand-picked to perfection.

Grissom

Good. You're using my water so I guess that makes it community coffee.

Paige and I dated once or twice. She wasn't my type. If you haven't noticed... I'm in the system now. The talent pool's pretty deep.

Nick

She dumped you!

Catherine

No one can predict more than a few seconds into the future.

Nick

I predict I'll still be standing here one minute from now.

Warrick

Where are we going with this?

Grissom

Paige was in her dorm room and then ended up in the dumpster. Somewhere between her dorm room and the dumpster is our answer. That's where we're going. Coming, Nick?

Warrick

[to Nick] Nice try, Nostradamus.

Catherine

You're racing me, Nick. We're driving the same car. (Nick keeps walking down the hallway) Nick! (he keeps walking) Nick, I'll have you removed from the case. You're confronting suspects before the evidence is processed. You're flying solo, cutting me out. What's going on?

Nick

(takes a deep breath) Okay. There are some people you're supposed to be able to trust, you know? I was nine. And she was a last-minute baby-sitter. (Catherine's stunned) All I can remember doing afterwards is sitting in my room in the dark, staring at the door waiting for my mom to get home. But I've never told anyone before.

Catherine

I'm sorry.

Nick

It's what makes a person, I guess. I'm sorry, Catherine.

Catherine

What's the matter with you?

Nick

I'm on a case.

Catherine

We're on a case.

Nick

Right...

Greg

Cheese, milk, sweaters. What do these things have in common?

Catherine

Goat cheese, goat milk.

Nick

Goat sweaters?

Catherine

Angora.

Greg

Ding, ding, ding.

Warrick

Hey Sara what were you in high school?

Sara

Science Nerd.

Nick

You changed, you still smell.

Sara

Anyone touch the bag since?

With that smell?

Sara

I thought you Emergency Service guys were tougher than that.

Hey, I'm plenty tough.

Sara

Down, boy. It was a joke.

Nick

(to Sara) Nothing like flirting over a D.B. (laughs)

Warrick

I saw her in action.

Nick

Really?

Warrick

Yeah, she was.

Nick

Catherine?

Catherine

(walks in and smiles) I was what?

Warrick

I was just telling Nick how you were a big bully in high school.

Catherine

A bully? All right, I guess I was. But, I mean, not the kind that people want to take a gun out and shoot.

Warrick

No.

Nick

No, no. You were the kind that guys fall all over themselves trying to impress.

Catherine

(smiling) Like you, Nick, huh? (Cath puts a hand on his shoulder for emphasis, he gets it. And sits down) Oh, Nick...what were you in high school?

Nick

Me? I was, uh...I was "dependable".

Catherine

Dependable.

Nick

Mmhmm.

Catherine

Dependable jock, dependable stoner?

Nick

No. Never a strap, never a smoker. Just all-around "dependable" guy, I guess.

Warrick

What Nick's trying to say he was unpopular. (Cath laughs. Sara walks into the break room)

Sara

Nick, Ronny's got something on Liquid Man, says it's hot.

Nick

Great. (gathers things and gets up)

Warrick

Hey Sara, what were you in high school?

Sara'

Science nerd. (Nick walks past her and sniffs)

Nick

You changed? (whispers) But you still smell. Let's go. (they leave)

Catherine

So that leaves you, Warrick. What were you?

Warrick

Oh, I was short, I had big feet, thick glasses.

Catherine

You?

Warrick

Yeah. I got pushed around by all the guys and never got any play from the girls.

Catherine

The girls didn't even notice your eyes?

Warrick

No, they used to tease me about my eyes. Called me names.

Catherine

Aww, well, what do they know? They're your best feature.

Sara

Give me a mint.

Nick

(laughs) You're going to need more than one.

Sara

Just give me.

Grissom

Let me guess. Decomp in an enclosed space?

Sara

Yeah.

Nick

Yeah, in a zip bag.

Grissom

Lemons.

Catherine

Hey, I just talked to your partner. Working this case without me, huh?

Nick

Hmm?

Catherine

Greg Sanders?

Nick

Leggo my Greggo. He's a CSI wannabe. Please.

Nick

You just made yourself useful, my friend.

Greg

Oh yeah?

Nick

Yeah.

Hey. I don't even know where to start with this one. Take a look at that. A scuba diver... up a tree.

Nick

Wow.

Catherine

How the hell he'd get up there?

Catherine

So I suppose you believe in Santa Claus?

Nick

After this... oh yeah.