Catherine Willows quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Catherine

[to Max, while he's stuck in cement]: Are you ready to give me a name? You know, you are in a very deep hole, in every sense of the word my friend. Think about that while we chisel you out. It's going to take a few hours. Assuming we're careful. See ya!

Catherine

A grown man who sticks his hand up the back of a doll, and speaks like a girl. Sounds healthy.

Catherine

Okay... we're in a David Lynch movie. Where's the dwarf?

Catherine

[to a group of girls] Finish puberty somewhere else, me and Mr. Big here need to talk.

Catherine

Death by Smurf? Have you ever seen anything like this?

Catherine

Chill out Conrad, you'll have it on your desk by the end of shift. Yes, I've included a 10% cut across the board, just make sure there's 10% less crime and we'll be fine.

Catherine

It's what men think women want. Like candy, it's sweet and hard to resist but sooner or later we just want some meat and potatoes.

Catherine

No body, no suspects, but if you're in the market for a murder weapon.. pick one

Catherine

What do you think?

Warrick

Oh, he's lying. That's why I took this job. I can always tell when Whitey's talking out his ass. It's a gift.

Sara

Do you know where I can find Catherine Willows?

Catherine

She's out in the field. Let me guess, Sara Sidle?

Sara

I know who I am, I think you're a little confused.

Catherine

If you think you're taking my case, Forget it.

Sara

Ok, we can stay here and argue or we can get out there and find who did this to Holly Gribbs. Two sharp woman are better than one..

Sara

What are you gonna say? Hi, I'm a criminalist, I was in the neighborhood...

Catherine

Shhhhh....it's ringing.

Hello.

Catherine

Ah, hey.

Hey, who's this? I just dialed my own damn beeper.

Catherine

Uh-uh, it's my beeper now, I found it.

That ain't your beeper, girl, it's mine, I do a lot of business on that beeper.

Catherine

What kind of business?

You know, slinging a little something-something.

Catherine

Oh, a little something-something, or maybe a little bling-bling?

Ah, so what you know about some bling-bling?

Catherine

Well invite me over to your crib, baby, and you might find out.

Three Aces Motel, room 202

Catherine

Three Aces Motel, room 202, ahh, see you soon. *hangs up the phone*

Sara

...

Catherine

Did I just do that?

Sara

What's a bling-bling?

Catherine

Got me.

Sara

Hey Grissom! Would you come tape me up?

Grissom

I love my work.

Catherine

It shows.

Sara

Hey Grissom (holds up a roll of tape) Could you come tape me up? (walks back into the garage)

Grissom

(looks to where Sara has walked out) I love my work!

Catherine

(looks at Grissom oddly) It shows! (walks away from Grissom as he follows Sara into the garage)

Grissom

(is crouched in front of Sara carefully taping her hands whilst they share intimate smiles) So, you found Laura’s hairs here? Passenger seat, front of the car?

Sara

Right, not in the back which made me ask: What kind of a kidnapper puts a bound and unconscious woman in the front seat of his car? The back of my arm isn’t touching the sheepskin but there was sheepskin fibres on the back of Laura’s sleeve which tells us that she sat back like a normal person. “Cut me Mick” (Grissom cuts the tape and even more carefully pulls it from her wrists) Like this. (she shows him)

Grissom

So she wasn’t bound at all?

Sara

Correct, but that made me ask the question: What kind of kidnapper puts an unconscious woman in the front seat of the car even unbound? Answer’s usually in the question…you taught me that! So was she unconscious? We found Halothane on the patio. Halothane knocks you out…if you take it!

Grissom

So you’re saying that she never inhaled the Halothane?

Sara

Proof would be in her blood. Halothane stays in the system up to 48 hours.

Grissom

How lucky am I that I got a sample of her blood?

Sara

Oh…

Grissom

So you can go to lab and check that out.

Sara

Dammit! I wanted to carry the ball over the line!

Grissom

(blushes slightly) I know!

Catherine

Now tell me, why are we here?

Grissom

'Cuz it's the only place within ten miles of Calville Bay that serves calamari.

Catherine

And you know this because...?

Grissom

I come here for calamari.

Catherine

Oh. Alone?

Grissom

No. Sometimes I have a beer with it.

The leg was severed post-mortem.

Catherine

Well, that's good news.

How do you figure?

Catherine

Would you want to be alive while your leg's being cut off?