Gil Grissom quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Grissom

Would you mind if I took a picture for my bite collection?

Whatever rubs your Buddha.

Grissom

Did you try this coffee?

Nick

Mm-mm.

Grissom

The last cup I had tasted like motor oil.

Greg

Oh, don't touch it. That's my pot!

Grissom

Your pot?

Greg

Yeah, you know, from my own private stash. Blue Hawaiian -- $40 a pound. Only grown a couple times a year on the Big Island hand-picked to perfection.

Grissom

Good. You're using my water so I guess that makes it community coffee.

Greg

Well, this is one way to get her DNA. Bring me her whole life.

Sara

It's called zeal, Greg.

Greg

Or overkill.

Grissom

It's called protocol. Let's get on with it.

Grissom

Friedrich Miescher requests my presence?

Greg

Figured out my code huh? Well you know my boy, Freddie, discovered DNA.

Grissom

He's been dead a hundred years, Greg.

Grissom

We told them what happened.

Catherine

Yeah. But we didn't give them what they needed... closure.

Grissom

Truth brings closure.

Catherine

Not always.

Catherine

No one can predict more than a few seconds into the future.

Nick

I predict I'll still be standing here one minute from now.

Warrick

Where are we going with this?

Grissom

Paige was in her dorm room and then ended up in the dumpster. Somewhere between her dorm room and the dumpster is our answer. That's where we're going. Coming, Nick?

Warrick

[to Nick] Nice try, Nostradamus.

Warrick

Where you been?

Grissom

I can't be everywhere, Warrick and they've banned human cloning.

Grissom

You showered.

Catherine

Thanks for noticing Gil, you're very observant.

Grissom

[studying a surveillance tape and inadvertently blocking Catherine's view]) Yeah? Well ... I can't tell what I'm observing here. What does that look like?

Catherine

A five-foot-eleven workaholic.

Sara

Five Hundred Dollars. That's huge money at her age if you actually get it. That's a big college racket, like buying books back.

Grissom

Why would anyone want to sell their books?

What happened to good old dusting for prints?

Grissom

When your crime scene is 12 stories up I don't want to take any chances.

Grissom

Hey, is that from the deli?

Sara

Egg salad sandwich. You want half?

Grissom

No. Can I have your pickle?

Sara

You can have it.

Grissom

Oh, that's a nice one.

Sara

You turned my pickle into a light bulb.

Grissom

I'm electrocuting it.

Sara

You sure are.

Warrick

That would explain that smell.

Grissom

You know this is how I cooked my hot dogs in college.

Sara

We quit before we should have.

Grissom

Yeah, you did.

Warrick

You want his blood?

Grissom

One pint. To go.

Greg

I think I smell something burning in the DNA lab. I'd love to stay and chat...

Grissom

Greg, I hopes that's not the crossword puzzle.