A character in Cougar Town
Played by Courteney Cox
Cougar Town · 82 quotes
Most-quoted character in Cougar Town: in 51 of its 82 quotes
Most scenes with: Ellie Torres (21), Grayson Ellis (14), Travis Cobb (12)
Why does it always have to be a plan?
JulesThese things work better when you have a plan. Vacations, big talks, murders... I don't know why I said murders. It's not like I daydream about getting away with one. THAT would be weird.
Jules[Angry] You based all of my treatment on your dog?
Ajam. [Jules is stressed]
Ok, I'm just gonna light a little sage in here 'cause, you know? It's very calming so let's all just [whistles]
calm.
JulesIt's just... I can't believe you lied to me.
[Pointing at Jules, slightly angry] Hey, hey, hey, Jules! And yes, this is my stern voice.
Jules[Slighty intimidated] I don't like your stern voice.
All I ever do was used my personal experience [starts coughing because of the sage]
to help you. All right? I've never lied on this office. Ever. This is a sacred circle [keeps coughing]
of truth.
JulesIs it, Glenn?
What?
JulesTell me. After we left, did you leave a note on that car?
Yes, I did.
JulesWhat did it say?
It said: Suck it! [Jules nods, having proved her point]
I'm not perfect, Jules.
Jules[Ironic] Really?
That's how we connect. We are kindred spirits. Last time you said that you felt guilty because you hang up on your dad. Last Christimas, I set my car on fire so my mother would think I was dead.
JulesThose aren't the same!
Bah, they're so close. But you know what? I'm done playing with your judgement games. I'm not gonna play. You're gonna have to find another therapist.
JulesYOU are firing ME?
Here's your information.
Oh! Stan walked!
JulesNow is not the time.
Right.
JulesI've been afraid of this moment for so long, but I know I raised such a great kid
We raised a good kid.
You're kinda smothering me.
JulesWith love. It doesn't count.
JulesTravis! You're mine today.
This can't be good.
I'm not getting involved.
JulesYou so are. You ate his lasagna last night.
I ate dead baby lasagna?
JulesHarsh. But, Ellie and I have a pact.
We tell each other the harsh truth no matter what.
JulesYou guys know each other?
Yeah yeah we play roller hockey together. How do you two know each other.
JulesGrayson there's a thousand different ways that people know each other, but for some reason I can't think of any right now.
You two slept together?
JulesNo...
Yes.
JulesHey JJ. That's your girl name.
Of course.
JulesSome of us over did it at the pre no more alimony party party, so I made these margaritas with crushed up aspirin.
They should market this to drunks! Or us.
JulesHi Barb, what are you a shredded wheat?
Hah. No. I'm a haystack. Hey fellas, who wants to roll around in the hay!?
Ding a ling a ling...
JulesThat's my cue since I was four. I had to use both my hands.
Awe how cute.
JulesEllie Torres, I'm fixing to get mad at you.
Really, are you fixing?
JulesDamn it.
JulesYou told me before it started that Kevin Spacey was Keyser Söze and I was still surprised! Wait, was he Keyser Söze?
Yes!
JulesAlright, so the crippled guy was his evil twin?
No, same guy.
JulesWell let's just agree to disagree.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cougar Town pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
