Jules Kiki Cobb quotes from Cougar Town

Ellie

Travis has hit that age where all girlfriends could be potential future daughters-in-law. And one will convince him to yank your feeding tube out.

Jules

What are you trying to do to me?

Ellie

I'm winding you up like a toy robot and letting you go!

Jules

(About Travis's new girlfriend) So gang, what do we think of her?

Andy

Do you think she wears a schoche too much makeup?

Laurie

Impossible. There's no such thing.

Ellie

You look like you poured your makeup on the floor, then rolled around in it.

Laurie

Poppy, the transsexual at the makeup counter I frequent, would beg to differ.

Plus, Travis scared me. He said you always embarrass him when he brings a girl home.

Jules

Travis, I said I would never do that again.

Laurie

(Popping up from behind a chair) Hi Kristen!

What was that?

Jules

What was what?

Travis

It's starting again.

Grayson

(Popping out from behind the cabinet) Hi, Kristen!

Bobby

(Popping out from behind the couch) Hi, Kristen!

Andy

(Popping out from inside a chair) Hi, Kristen!

Ellie

Hey, Kristen.

Jules

Okay everybody, big finish.

Hi, Kristen!

(Singing) It's Kirsten, but you can call me whatever... I hate that I'm singing

Laurie

She's like a nervous little bird!

Bobby

You guys can understand what I say, right?

Jules

It should be me. I probably should've brought this up to you in our first through sixth year of marriage, but sometimes when you talk too quickly or too quietly, or when you talk at all-

Ellie

Get to it! Bobby, we can't understand one word you say! Or as you would put it, we can't urbadurn your frazzle dazzle! (Everyone but Bobby laughs)

Bobby

Ya'll think you're funnier than a barrel full of Foxworthys. But you're not. (Leaves)

Jules

Does anyone know what he just said?

Grayson

Nope.

Laurie

Not a clue.

Ellie

Frazzle dazzle.

Grayson

Can I give you some constructive criticism?

Jules

As long as you start with something nice!

Grayson

You are a great gal. Smart, funny...

Jules

I can swim real fast!

Grayson

So fast! But your hugs are too intense. Now I love 'em, not really, but for people you're not sleeping with, you can't give them that stab-me-with-your-pelvic-bone hug.

Jules

But people love them!

Travis

Aww!

Jules

Happy Thanksgiving break, sweetie! (Hugs him) Great that you could join us, Kevin! (Gives Kevin a big hug)

Grayson

Jules...

Jules

I can't help it. It's like hugging a sofa!

Jules

So you just brought me out here to make fun of me?

Grayson

No. I don't like sharing how I feel, especially in front of the peanut gallery. (Laurie, Ellie, and Travis wave) But I know it matters to you, so I invited them all here so they could hear me say this. You're an idiot. You're worried we're not alike enough to be together? One of my favorite things about us is how different we are. It's the couples that really work. (Points to Andy and Ellie) His favorite movie is Die Hard and she... is a horrible person.

Andy

It's Love, Actually, actually. Ooh, sequel!

Grayson

I've been scared to say this, but all those ways that you're different from me, that's why I love you. (Laurie and Ellie gasp) I love you, Jules. (They kiss)