Chuck Bartowski quotes from Chuck

Chuck

[watching Lester's sales policy in action] That's gonna end badly.

Morgan

I know. I know, Chuck. That's part of the fun.

Sarah

Back off, Chuck! You have as much information as is pertinent to this assignment!

Chuck

So "Jenni" with an "i" or would that be-

Sarah

All Jenny's boyfriend needs to know is that Jenny hates questions about her past!

Sarah

You got that?

See, I'm just a guy who likes math, you know, and somehow I got a beautiful girl like that to fall in love with me. I have to pinch myself sometimes. It's like I'm dreaming. Aw, forget it, Agent Carmichael. I mean, how can I expect a cool guy like you to understand?

Chuck

You know what, Mark? Sometimes the nerd gets the girl.

Sarah

Okay, fine, I'll answer one question about my past. You've earned that much.

Chuck

...No thanks...I don't need to know more, not about who you were. 'Cause as much as you don't think so, I know who you are: a girl I'd like to share a cheeseburger with...Should I get a knife? I'll get a knife.

Sarah

That won't be necessary.

Chuck

That's awesome! And a little disturbing.

Chuck

Who’s going to tell Ratner about his wife?

Casey

That’s why love is for suckers.

Chuck

Where’s Sarah?

Casey

Sucker.

Chuck

Oh, and I'm gonna need to borrow your girlfriend.

Morgan

Oh, dude she's all yours.

Chuck

Morgan! Hey, ah, buddy, do-do we carry any Rush CDs in the store?

Morgan

No need. I got them all in my Zune.

Chuck

You have a Zune?

Morgan

Are you kidding me? No, no. I'll grab my iPod.

Is there a problem? [Chuck hides under desk]

Chuck

Can you tell me if the attractive, brown eyed, slightly egg headed brunette with an extremely cold heart is still here?

She's here; why, who is she?

Chuck

Jill Roberts, my ex-girlfriend. She broke my heart. I need-I need a diversion; would-would it be a terrible imposition for you to pull the fire alarm?

Jill

Hi, I'm Dr Jill Roberts. Is there someone who can help me with the tech requirements for my lecture?

Under the desk.

Chuck

When you say "reconnect" you mean send her an email or invite her to be my new Facebook friend, right?

Call her at her hotel and make a date! See if you flash on anything she says or anyone you meet.

Chuck

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, a date with my ex? No, General, that-that is a terrible idea. You see she broke my heart; she destroyed me; she took all of my confidence, my mojo!

Casey

You had mojo?

Chuck

I was on my way, oh, and by the way she slept with Bryce Larkin.

Casey

Huh. Who hasn't? [looks at Sarah]

Sarah

Look, Chuck. I know Jill hurt you, but maybe seeing her will give you the closure that you've always wanted. You have done a lot for the CIA and we're going to make you look good.

Casey

Look on the bright side, now you can get your mojo back!

Chuck

Sticky clutch. [nervous laugh] Remind me to have my assistant have that fixed.

Jill

I think the valet is up a little further.

Chuck

Beautiful night for walk, huh? Shall we?

Jill

Who is it?

Chuck

It's the lying, yet well meaning fool who rented a Ferrari last night...

Casey

Ten bucks says she doesn't open the door for him!

Sarah

Make it twenty and you're on.

Jill

I don't want to talk to you Chuck!

Chuck

Okay, well, then I'll do all the talking. I know this may come as a shock to you but I'm here to do something totally crazy and tell you the truth. I still work at the Buy More, and, uh, I still live with my sister and I still have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I guess I just wanted you to think that I was someone special. So, in order to accomplish that I went out and got a new suit and rented a car that I clearly have no idea how to drive because from the second I saw you again I knew that I hadn't gotten over you yet, Jill.

Jill

Really? You haven't gotten over me?

Chuck

No...

Jill

Get in here. [Casey pays up bet]

Sarah

[Chuck's stuck in the airvent] What are you doing up there?

Chuck

Help! [Falls to the floor]

Casey

Shh. It's the F.B.I, they're dumb, not deaf.

Chuck

Thanks.

Chuck

Wait. So not only did we not get the FULCRUM list, but Jill's never going to speak to me again because she caught me naked rinsing off fruit punch on another woman.

Casey

Common spy problem.

Chuck

Really?

Chuck

[stops making out with Jill because of the surveillance] Buy More, tomorrow.

Jill

What time?

Chuck

Take the latent heat of aquatic fusion...

Jill

In calories per gram?

Chuck

Of course. [seductive voice] And then subtract the atomic number of thallium, got it? [Jill nods] Ok, I'll see you then!

Casey

[growls] Nerd code!

Chuck

I'm just too trusting. Ever since I was a kid, I really wanted to believe what everyone else told me, you know? I'm just getting used to this new job, with the spying and lying.

Sarah

Don't get used to it. What makes you special is that you're not like every other spy. You're a good guy and you want to help people. Leave the deception to me.

Chuck

I'm glad I have you.

Sarah

Yeah, we're better as a team.