Professor Nimnul quotes from Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers

Professor Nimnul

The police! Don't they have anything better to do than arrest criminals?

Professor Nimnul

I'll become the Picasso of potatoes! The Svengali of spuds! Or... dare I say it? Mr. Potato Head!

Professor Nimnul

[reading] "Due to your not paying the electric bill, we've cut off your power. Have a nice day. The Power Company." The small-minded simpletons are standing in the path of weird science!

Professor Nimnul

Time to rejoin the rat race, ya rotten rodents!

Professor Nimnul

My Phone-a-matic Modemizer worked like a charm. All I have to do is dial my escape. Now I can reach out and rob someone anytime I want!

Professor Nimnul

I want tremendous piles of wealth! Beyond the bounds of unrestrained greed! I want gold, jewels, Yves Saint Bernard dresses!

Klordane

I have schedules to meet, Professor. Isn't it ready yet?

Professor Nimnul

Really, Mr. Klordane! You must be patient. True genius cannot be rushed. [Gets a snowball in the face] Hurried, hastened and sped up: yes. Anyway, it's ready for the ruby.

Klordane

At last, I can complete my devious creation: The Klordane Cannon-Laser 13.

Professor Nimnul

Yours? I, Professor Norton Nimnul, am the devious genius around here, and I have great plans for the Nimnul Cannon-Laser 13.

Klordane

[grabs Nimnul] I remind you, professor, that without my ruby your precious laser is just a big, overgrown flashlight.

Professor Nimnul

Big and overgrown? Yes, that's just what it is.

Professor Nimnul

How's that for an overgrown flashlight?

Klordane

Excellent, professor! But will it fly?

Professor Nimnul

Will it fly?! You just watch!

Monty

Fly? Now what's he talking about?

Dale

[shudders as everything is shaking] What's going on?!

Klordane

Yes! YES!

Professor Nimnul

Mwa-ha-ha-ha! They'll never laugh at Norton Nimnul again!

Professor Nimnul

Destroy! Obliterate! Puree! Whip! Chop! [the choppers use their propellers to cut the ice; Nimnul laughs] I'll have that glacier reduced to snow cuffing in no time at all!

Fat Cat

I'm absolutely thrilled.

Professor Nimnul

[gets out of the laser's cockpit] Sleep tight, laser light. Don't let the computer bugs bite.

Fat Cat

The geek has a definite hardware hangup. I bet stripping gears is his idea of a good time.

Professor Nimnul

The ruby appears to be in a... er... transitive state of location.

Klordane

Meaning?

Professor Nimnul

It's missing.

Klordane

Missing? [grabs Nimnul] MISSING?!

Professor Nimnul

Well, you see, there were these small Rodentia... uh... chipmunks, to be precise, and...

Klordane

Chipmunks? CHIPMUNKS?!

Donald Drake

[chuckles] You know, as a policeman I could file a missing ruby report for you.

Klordane

That won't be necessary. Professor Nimnul is going to either bring me that ruby, or I'll get an elephant gun!

That's it? You're going to start an earthquake with lime gelatin? [Laughs] Oh, Klordane! You really had me going there! Didn't you forget the whipped cream?

Professor Nimnul

Now you stop laughing! My theories are perfectly legitimate!

Klordane

[grabs the mallet] Let the earthquake begin!

Professor Nimnul

Now you just wait a minute! You can't hog all the credit for this! I'm the one who built the laser! I'm the one who brought the ice! I'm the one who invented the soon-to-be-world-famous Nimnul Fruitquake!

Klordane

Nimnul Fruitquake?

Professor Nimnul

Uh, whatever. Anyway, I did all those things! Therefore, I should be the one who gets to start the earthquake!

Klordane

You know, I believe you're correct, Nimnul. You deserve the honor of triggering the earthquake.

Professor Nimnul

What? [Klordane grabs him and smashes against the mountain of gelatin] NOOOOO!

Professor Nimnul

Wait for me! I've got the ruby!

Aldrin Klordane

Oh, Professor, I wouldn't dream of leaving without you. Give me your hand. [Nimnul reaches out his hand and Klordane takes the ruby from him and shoves him away] Bye.

Gee, uncle Norton, why do you want to destroy the city?

Professor Nimnul

Because nobody takes a mad scientist seriously until he's leveled a city or two. But once I've proven my power, I'll have the whole world in my sway! [Pushes a button to view what his music has wrought]

Is the city in your sway, Uncle Norton?

Professor Nimnul

No. It's just... swaying. That can't be the right record! For one thing, utter devastation always has more drums and cymbals.