Paige Matthews quotes from Charmed

Piper

Without picture ID's, we got no credit cards, we got nothing. It's like we don't exist.

Paige

Everyone in the world thinks we're these trashy blondes. I do have to hand it to them, though. They've taken identity theft to a whole new level.

Paige

Ah, don't worry, this blonde couldn't hit the broad side of a beauty parlour. I mean, check out that dye job!

How dare you!

Paige

Oh, she's not only butting in, she's taking sides.

Phoebe

Look, Paige, it's not only what I saw but it's what I felt. Don't you think if they just tried to kill someone I would have felt some intense anger coming from them? But I didn't.

Paige

I don't know. Are you sensing any intense anger coming at you right now?

Piper

Okay, let's look at the bright side. We settled a family feud, we set free a tortured soul, maybe your new power and Paige's new solo path away from the sisterhood, is some kind of synergy, that is all working together in some kind of divine way.

Nah.

Piper

What the hell is going on?

Paige

Bitch later, vanquish now. (Piper and Phoebe vanquish the demon Zahn)

Phoebe

I love watching lawyers explode!

Piper

Can I bitch now?

Paige

Okay, anyway, Book, Excalibur...?

Phoebe

Yeah, nothing. Nada.

Paige

Really?

Piper

Told you.

Paige

You know, hey, maybe it's been out of circulation since ye olden days, and maybe no Halliwell has ever come across it before.

Phoebe

Well, we have run across these guys, executioner demons, lower-level badasses for hire.

Piper

Who hired them?

Phoebe

This higher-level badass. (shows them the 'Dark Knight' page in the book)

Phoebe

Yeah, but I don't need divine help. I need filing and faxing and desk management help.

Paige

I'm your girl. I really am. We'll just, you know, see if the divine stuff kind of appears later. Usually does.

Phoebe

Yeah, but I can't tell you what to do. I mean, how weird is that?

Paige

Well, it's no weirder than usual.

Phoebe

Oh, I see.

Paige

Just kidding, sort of.

Phoebe

I still can't believe we vanquished its mummy.

Paige

Yeah, but we didn't know it was a mummy and besides, mummy tried to kill us.

Piper

Paige, where have you been? You're late.

Paige

I know, I'm sorry. I got tied up.

Phoebe

Where? At Richard's?

Paige

No, I was at work. Get your mind out of the gutter, missy.

Phoebe

Hey, you're the one that orbs home to find lingerie.

Paige

Two times! I did that twice.

Piper

Yeah, it's about the only time we ever see you anymore.

Paige

Why did I come here? To get picked on?

Phoebe

Because we love you.

Piper

We kinda miss you.

Paige

I am not at Richard's that much. Fine! Maybe I am. But, you know, I am just an orb away if you need help.

Piper

Yeah, the thing is, we just gotta be careful. Because if we stray too far away from each other, demons take advantage. We've learned that lesson the hard way a few times.

Paige

I know, I know, I get it. I just really don't wanna think of us living together in fifty years.

Piper

Naaah, twenty, thirty years, tops.

Phoebe

We can always move to Hong Kong so I can see Jason whenever I want.

Piper

How do you say "dream on" in Chinese?

Piper

Impressive.

Phoebe

Berlitz. Okay, what about you, missy? Spill it!

Piper

Spill what?

Phoebe

Come on, you and Greg? Put out any fires lately?

Piper

Is that supposed to be a subtle fireman reference?

Phoebe

Yeah, you like it?

Paige

Wait a minute. You're going out with a fire-fighter?

Piper

Proof positive. You haven't been around much.

Phoebe

Let's see, they've been seeing each other for about three weeks, and someone, I won't say who, although it's not the fireman, is avoiding taking it to the next step.

Piper

I'm not avoiding. I'm just a little reluctant, that's all.

Paige

My dear, it is time to get back in the saddle.

Piper

Now a cowboy reference.

Phoebe

Piper, you just need to relax and let it happen.

Piper

Yeah, easy for you to say. You weren't sleeping with an angel for three years.

Phoebe

Yeah, but you were nervous when you and Leo first started, you know? I seem to remember that you used to freeze him during all the good parts. Hey, maybe you should...

Piper

No. I'm not freezing Greg. I'm so nervous, I'd probably blow him up.

Phoebe

Well?

Piper

Gutter, gutter, gutter.

Chris

What are you guys talking about?

Phoebe

Stuff.

Paige

Hey, where you going?

Chris

I gotta go work on the next demon... stration.

Phoebe

Chris, why don't you relax and have a drink with us?

Chris

Thanks, but I didn't come here to relax.

Phoebe

(about Chris, after he leaves) That is one bitchy whitelighter.

Piper

You're telling me.

Paige

Hey Piper, why don't you go talk to the guilt machine over there?

Phoebe

Hm.

Leo

What would you say if I told you whoever attacked Chris was called a Phoenix?

Paige

Well, I would say, "What's a Phoenix?" and then you'd probably tell me.

And so I call upon the Crone--let evil roam inside this home.

I thought you were acting strange.

Allen? Are you spying on me?

How could you, Robin? What about our dream?

(her voice turns sinister) My only dream (she raises a fireball) is helping my warlock friend put all of you weak creatures out of you misery tonight.

Paige

Robin! (Robin throws the fireball, but Paige dives out of the way)

Violence isn't the answer, Robin. Let love replace your fear. I know you felt our love.

Yeah, and I still got the stink of it all over me. (she raises another fireball)

Paige

Sensitive, but not a wuss-bag.

Phoebe

And someone that is a good listener.

Paige

Okay, good cook.

Phoebe

Handy around the house.

Paige

Good with kids.

Phoebe

Gets the whole normal-life thing.

Paige

Has a really big--

Phoebe

Paige.

Paige

Uh. Is this the perfect guy or what?

Phoebe

All right, throw it in.

Phoebe

Why not take advantage of him while you can? I mean, figuratively speaking, of course.

Paige

Oh, hell, literally, it is your birthday.

Phoebe

Je ne sais pas, pourquoi?.

Paige

Since when do you speak freedom fry?

Paige

Okay, she's French. Bad karma. Napoleon?

Piper

Probably not.

Paige

Okay, what about Marie Antoinette, Queen Isabella, the she-wolf of France?

Paige

Okay, let's see. Speaks French, hates the country, more than willing to strip in public. Oh my God, I saw something in here. :(Reading from a book) Famous females spies: Mata Hari.

Piper

Wasn't she one of the bond girls?