Phoebe Halliwell quotes from Charmed

Phoebe

You and Leo are back in the saddle?

Piper

So to speak..

Phoebe

Yay you! God I miss sex!

Paige

Did you get anything?

Phoebe

Yeah, frost bite.

Piper

Friend or foe?

Phoebe

Not so sure yet.

Chris

What do you mean? I saved Paige, didn't I?

Phoebe

Oh, you call that saving, do you?

Piper

You expect us to beat the Titans dressed like this?! Maybe at a costume party!

Chris

That's not a costume. That represents your new position and power.

Paige

Power? Power's good. I like power. Why do I like power?

Chris

Because you are the Goddess of War.

Paige

Ahh. Well, I guess that explains the pitch fork.

Chris

It's not a pitch fork, it's a trident. Be careful, that's a formidable weapon.

Paige

Right on. Who wants to fight?

Phoebe

I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Chris

You're the Goddess of Love.

Piper

Naturally. Well, then that must make me the Goddess of Sanity because I find this ridiculous!

Paige

Reason and judgement are the qualities of a leader. Tacitus 100 AD.

Phoebe

Love will keep us together. Captain and Tennille. 1970s.

Phoebe

One more question...what are you wearing underneath that robe?

More robes.

Phoebe

Or how about "I'm going to go check with the Elders". Do you really think he checks with the Elders?

Paige

No. He probably orbs to a sports bar and buys his buddies a round of drinks. "Yeah, my wife thinks I'm up there. Here's to the Elders".

Leo

You're not the ancient greeks, you're the charmed ones. I didn't give you anything you can't handle. Phoebe, you lost yourself to the darkest love that ever existed, and you came back. Of course you can handle being the Goddess of Love.

Phoebe

I never thought of it that way.

Leo

Paige, you're the Goddess of War because you've been consumed with gaining power but you've never let the power consume you. And Piper, is it any wonder that I made you the Goddess of Earth? You are everything that is good and beautiful in this world, the mother of my son.

Piper

You really have that much faith in us?

Leo

You really need to ask that?

Phoebe

Thank God!

Piper

You're welcome.

Phoebe

All right, all right. What do you want advice on?

See, there's this woman that I like, and I'd like to ask her out. But I'm afraid she'll say no. What should I do?

Phoebe

Well, why don't you just ask me and find out?

Paige

What kind of whitelighter can't heal?

Chris

For the record, you can't heal either.

Paige

I'm half whitelighter. How come you didn't tell us about this before we hired you?

Chris

Because you didn't hire me. I was assigned by the elders.

Phoebe

Any other little surprises you'd like to share with us?

Chris

No. Look, I haven't been a whitelighter very long, okay? And healing, it's big. And takes a while to learn how to do.

Phoebe

Great, student-lighter.

Phoebe

Oh, Piper, hi! You're never gonna believe this. I think I have a new power. It would certainly explain a lot of my weird behaviour lately, like why I wanted to date Chad and why my advice has been so amazingly accurate. I know, this is huge, right? Huge. So what's my new power you ask? Oh, I'll tell you. Do you remember that empath we helped a couple of years ago? That guy that could feel what other people were feeling?

Chris

Uh, Phoebe.

Phoebe

Just a sec. I think that's what I am now. An empath. I am an empath. That's my new power. Or at least an advancement of my premonition power, I don't know.

Chris

Neither does she, I'm afraid. Know, that is, anything. Paige erased her memory.

Piper

Can you blow things up too?

Paige

Well that little magical whammy you performed on her kind of, um, backfired.

Phoebe

You see, after you left, Piper was really...

Paige

Chipper. Yeah, incessantly, increasingly, annoyingly chipper.

Phoebe

What she said.

Leo

Well, it was supposed to make her feel less pain. I guess with me not around to pull it back a little bit, she got happier and happier?

Paige

Um, no, psychotically chipper.

Leo

Paige...

Phoebe

Let her go. It might seem silly to you, but it's important to her, I know.

Chris

See? It helps to be an empath.

Phoebe

No, it helps to be a sister.

Phoebe

Okay, but you don't have to yell at me. 'Cause I can sense how mad you are.

Paige

Okay, just 'cause you can sense doesn't mean I can't vent.