Phoebe Halliwell quotes from Charmed

Phoebe

Yeah, but I kinda liked his whole 'world without magic' speech. Very Capra.

Paige

It was pure Crapa.

Oh, girls, I just wanted to let you know how I feel about your father. I.. I just feel so, so lucky. He's the most special man I've ever met.

Piper

Thank you.

Phoebe

That's the sweetest thing you could ever say to us.

Well it's true, you know. He's so.. he's so kind and he's so sensitive and.. oh, he's the most exciting lover. I mean, girlfriends, he can go all night!

Phoebe

Step aside, bitch!

Paige

Yeah, that's our job.

Paige

Is that what I think it is?

Phoebe

Uh, if you're referring to Mr. Winky, between the legs, yes.

Phoebe

Ok, breathe. Keep breathing, keep breathing. Don't forget to breathe. Very good! Relax. Relax.

Piper

Dad!

Victor

Yeah, honey?

Piper

I'm sorry about your demon wife.

Victor

Oh, hush. Don't think about that.

Leo

I'm right here, baby.

Phoebe

You okay? You okay? Ok, you're doing great. You're doing great. Push, okay? Last push.

Piper

I can't.

Phoebe

You have to. A big one. Big one! Push!

Leo

You can do it.

Piper

I can't.

Phoebe

You can. You can.

Paige

Yes, you can.

Phoebe

You're gonna be okay. Push. Push! Push!

Paige

Oh, I think the magic is coming back.

Phoebe

Here we go. Here we go! Oh, I see a shoulder. And another shoulder. And an arm, another arm. Oh, and something else. Something else.

Piper

What? What?

Phoebe

Hi, baby. Hi. Okay. Okay. Look!

Paige

Oh. Is that what I think it is?

Leo

You mean, I got a boy?

Phoebe

Here you go, mama.

Piper

Hi. Hi, little guy. What are you doing? Look what we did.

Leo

I see.

Paige

It's a miracle.

Piper

A little miracle.

Phoebe

He's beautiful.

Piper

Oh. You are safe, you are loved, and you are wise.

Phoebe

Yeah well, Prudence Melinda might get him in trouble at school.

Paige

I'm thinking that's probably true, although he could just zap them onto a roof like Harry Potter would or something.

Piper

After seeing what the kid can do inside the womb, he's no Muggle.

Phoebe

Hey, what about Potter? Potter Halliwell? Or is it Wyatt?

Leo

No, it's definitely Halliwell. Demons fear it, good magic respects it, and I want what's best for him. That's why I'm going to say no to Potter.

Leo

How'd it go with the new boss?

Phoebe

Oh, Jason Dean? I want to bear his children, but that's besides the point.

Phoebe

Oh...I could just eat your little face...

Piper

Phoeb? After the parasites that did actually kinda want to eat him...not so cute.

Phoebe

Gotcha! Oooh, I could smush you! Oooh, I could just smush your little face!

Piper

Much better.

Paige

Is that his new name? Smush Face Halliwell?

Leo

'S about as good as everything else we've come up with.

Phoebe

No new ideas, huh?

Piper

Actually-

Leo

No, we've been so busy with the alarm and the demon fighting and the sister saving. (he looks at Paige)

Paige

Sorry...

Piper

Oh, don't be sorry, Paige, you were brave! And you inspired me to fight and you made the world a safer place for our baby... which is why I would like to give the baby the middle name of Matthew, in honor of his super-protective Aunt Paige.

Phoebe

I think that's a great idea.

Piper

(looks at Leo) What do you think?

Leo

(he smiles) Yeah.

Paige

(touched) Thanks.

Piper

And I also have an idea for his first name! Wyatt, in honor of his very protective daddy.

Leo

(stunned but happy) Really? It doesn't begin with a 'P'...

Piper

Well, so we break with tradition.

Phoebe

My date is a demon!

Piper

Huh? What? That guy? But he's so hot.

Phoebe

Yeah. Hot as in flames of hell hot. Look, I had a premonition. He devours his victims. I'm next. Freeze the room.

Piper

Uhh! My sister, the demon magnet.

Piper

Okay, look, I can schedule in five minutes for a sisterly chat, but then I gotta go.

Phoebe

I cannot schedule in sisterly chat.

Piper

I'm telling you. You got 4 minutes and 55 seconds.

Phoebe

No, actually...nothing happened.

What? That's impossible. Did you take any risks? Get lucky with that fella?

Piper

What 'fella'?

Phoebe

I think he's talking about Jason. And no! I did not get luck with Jason... Not that I'd want to anyway...

Hmm... So the burned child dreads the fire, eh?

The Charmed Ones. It's about time you got here

Phoebe

Yeah, well, we had to make a little pit stop somewhere over the rainbow.

Phoebe

She was engaged to a warlock.

Paige

Dan was a warlock?

Phoebe

Oh no, before Dan. Way before Dan. Two bankers, a rock climber and a ghost before Dan. And actually the ghost was the best of the bunch.

Paige

See, now that's what I call critical sisterly information. How am I meant to be petty and judgemental without all the info.

Phoebe

I was under a spell. Evil

Paige

Evil? You were blonde!

Phoebe

Wait a minute. You just said something.

Paige

I did? Was it smart?