Phoebe Halliwell quotes from Charmed

Piper

What's going on in here?

Phoebe

Nothing, unfortunately.

Piper

I heard voices.

Phoebe

Oh, did you? Um, I had a premonition. Must have gotten pretty loud.

Piper

I guess.

Phoebe

We gotta go. The high priestess that has Prue, supposedly she's coming here.

Piper

High pr--? Must have been a helluva premonition.

Dantalian

That was easy.

Piper

Too easy.

Piper

Where's our sister?

Dantalian

[apprehensively] I can help you. I can teach you evil. You're new at it, you don't know how to realize its full potential.

Piper

I don't know, I think we're getting the hang of it.

Phoebe

Wanna see?

Piper

Where's Prue?

Dantalian

Kill me and you'll never see her again.

Piper

So maybe we should [stomps on Dantalian] torture you instead!

Phoebe

Why don't you just shatter her hand and see what happens?

Piper

Last chance. [Dantalian stares] Fine. [smashes Dantalian's hand, Dantalian screams in agony]

Phoebe

Now, the really weird thing is we could do that to the other hand, and then go down to your feet ...

Piper

Actually, we could work up piece by piece, all the way to her head.

Phoebe

[waves knife and Dantalian's head] Where is Prue?

Piper

Whoa, Prue. Hey, hi. You don't look so good.

Phoebe

Oh, but that's a great dress.

Dantalian

Zile, Prue--eliminate them!

Piper

Prue, ignore her. Come on, come with us--we're your sisters.

Prue

I'm his wife, not your sister. [she raises her hands and sends Piper and Phoebe flying into the wall]

Phoebe

Dad doesn't know that Leo is a Whitelighter.

Piper

Well, I've been meaning to tell him, but considering Mom had an affair with her Whitelighter, I didn't think he'd be really receptive to the idea.

Leo

Piper, he's gonna kill me when he finds out.

Piper

Oh, don't be ridiculous, you're already dead.

Cole

You have to hold my hand.

Prue

This sucks already.

Victor

Leo! You lying little piece of--

Piper

Okay, Dad. Not now. Stay with Phoebe. We'll be back.

Victor

Wha-?

Phoebe

Well, don't get mad at me. I've been shot.

Victor

Oh, so now I'm supposed to trust a demon?

Leo

You know, as much as I hate to say this, Cole loves Phoebe. He took a huge risk to come here and try and prove himself to her and he will do whatever it takes to save her life.

Phoebe

He's right.

Victor

How can you be so sure?

Phoebe

Because he loves me as much as I love him.

Grams

Is this the biggest arch you could get?

Prue

Without opening a fast food franchise, yeah.

Grams

Well just remember, if love is the quest, then marriage is the conquest. This place must feel like... victory.

Phoebe

And here I thought weddings were meant to be romantic.

Grams

Oh, my dear, sweet child.

Prue

Better listen to Grams, Phoebe. I mean you could always calculate her age by the number of rings on her fingers.

Phoebe

Piper, you have to stay positive. You know what? I have Celine Dion "Behind The Music" on video cassette. Would you like to watch that?

Piper

Would you like to get slapped?

Piper

Prue! What the hell is going on?

Phoebe

Prue! Get your astral ass back here!

Prue

I'm sorry if I've been a little cranky.

Phoebe

Say no more. Princess Prue has spoken, by the orders of the queen, that's me! Phoebeville and all of it's glory will be abandoned for greener pastures, and two lattes.

Prue

Oh, all hail the queen!

Phoebe

Yay, I love to be hailed!

Piper

I still don't understand why my sisters can't come, we could just do a group hug thing, and..

Leo

I can orb you because you're my wife, but I'm not a cosmic taxi for the whole family.

Phoebe

Hehe... you said wife!

Phoebe

They retreated?

Prue

Yeah. I kicked ass.

Cole

No, you kicked air.

Phoebe

Well, if so I got the runt. Bad teeth, funky clothes and way easy to kill.

Prue

Black hair?

Piper

Bad breath?

Prue

Uh, I think I killed him.