Phoebe Halliwell quotes from Charmed

Piper

Phoebe, I know you're upset Leo crashed your lunch date but...

Phoebe

No, it's not that. Cole is pulling away from me again, I can see it.

Piper

Premonition?

Phoebe

Intuition.

Piper

Here he is. Vinceres, hmm... Pretty much lives up to his gloss. Unstoppable hitman. Just keeps going until he gets his target.

Phoebe

Great. The energizer demon.

Prue

Phoebe? Phoebe! Hi. I hate to interrupt your whole "staring off into space aimlessly" thing that you've got going on right now, but in case you forgot, evil Triad agent.

Phoebe

Like you would ever let me forget, Prue.

Piper

"Sure, you can use P3 for a photo shoot." Hello? Remember me?

Prue

Oh, poor Piper! Well, you know what? The martyr routine's really getting old.

Phoebe

Hey guys, what's going on?

(to Phoebe) Shut up!

Prue

You know what? I am so sorry I didn't check with you about your stupid little club, but I was busy being the only witch concerned about the Triad.

Piper

Oh, right--without the mighty Prue Halliwell, we'd all be dead. Get over yourself, Prue.

Phoebe

Sisters, what has gotten into you two?

Prue

(to Phoebe) By the way, you owe me for a car tow and a tank of gas, you little leech!

Phoebe

I'm sorry, is it "Gang Up On Phoebe Day' and nobody told me?

Piper

News flash--the world does not revolve around Phoebe!

Prue

Yeah, so while you spend the night screwing the DA, we are stuck picking up your slack. (Andras, watching outside the window, infects Phoebe with rage)

Phoebe

What's the matter, Prue? Jealous? All work and no play making you even more boring?

Prue

Oh yeah, there's a lot to be jealous of, Phoebe. What, jealous that I'm still in school? Jealous that I'm still unemployed? And jealous that I am still living off of my sisters?

Piper

Yeah, Grams said you'd never amount to anything.

Prue

I am so sick that I have been saddled with the two of you my entire life!

Phoebe

Whatever, I'm leaving!

Piper

Oh sure--you're such an immature brat, you leave every time you can't hack something.

Phoebe

Well, there's nothing keeping me here now, is there?

Prue

Oh, well I see that you inherited Dad's talent for bailing!

Phoebe

That's because the two of us couldn't deal with living with the two of you!

Piper

Well, at least I'm not so stupid that I had to do college twice.

Phoebe

Well, at least I had the courage to go away to college. What's the matter, Piper? The real world too much for you? I am so sick of the two of you ganging up on me and judging me!

Prue

I am so sick of saving your asses!

Piper

I'm sick of being taken for granted, and those are mine! (yanks one of her earrings off Phoebe's ear)

Phoebe

Ouch! Bitch!

Prue

Okay, that's new.

Phoebe

Demon with...demon filling.

Prue

Listen, here's the deal. Belthazor killed the Triad, now the Source wants him dead. Krell is trying to suck up to the Source, so he wants to kill Belthazor

Piper

Belthazor wants to kill us so the Source won't kill him.

Leo

And if you work with Krell he can kill Belthazor before he kills you.

Phoebe

Works for me!

Krell

How do you witches ever get anything done?

Prue

Oh my god.. and she's been acting really.. and she left without saying.. and and the bottle, she wanted to destroy it.

Phoebe

I'm trying to jump on your thought train but you're moving a little too fast for me here.

Piper

He's still staring at me!

Phoebe

That’s not staring, that’s flirting!

Piper

You say tomato…

Phoebe

No! I say relaxo!

Prue

Hey, alright I need some professional help.

Phoebe

No arguments here.

Prue

Anything?

Piper

Nope

Phoebe

Maybe if you did it again with a little more "ummph", you know? Maybe some choreography, Piper could back you up with some old school beatbox.

Prue

How did I know I wouldn't get any help from you crazy people?

Phoebe

We thought the good guys were bad guys, and in trying to vanquish them, we helped the real bad guys, which were dead ringers for good guys.

Leo

Was that English?