Phoebe Halliwell quotes from Charmed

Grams

You need guidance, some advice on a certain sister situation. Am I getting warm?

Phoebe

Red hot. But wait a minute, if you know, that means that they know, and if they know then we are f...

Grams

Fine.

Cole

1329 Prescott Street. (He holds out the bag of books. Phoebe looks confused.) On the receipt. In the bag. (He looks for it.) It was there. That sounded much better in my head.

Phoebe

They gave you our books and you thought you'd drop them by.

Cole

That wasn't so hard when you said it. I actually need the ones I bought, so if you don't mind I...

Phoebe

Of course you do, okay. (She goes to get the books. Cole starts to follow but she stops him.) Oh, actually, uh, you know, my sisters sort of got into it today so the place is a disaster, looks like a bomb went off. So if you don't mind just waiting here, that would be great. (She closes the door, gets the books and opens the door back up.) Hi! (She hands them to him.) So, you going back to the office?

Cole

Justice must be served, right?

Phoebe

Tell me about it.

Leo

Phoebe, everything okay? I was starting to get worried. Hey.

Phoebe

Um, Cole, Leo, Leo, Cole.

Leo

Nice to meet you.

Cole

Pleasure.

Leo

Sorry to, uh...

Cole

No, no, I was just leaving. Really need to take care of some business. (Leo and Phoebe go back inside. Cole walks down the steps. He puts his suitcase down and gets a handkerchief out of his jacket pocket. He wipes his hand.) Whitelighters always were messy. (to his shadow) Report this. (His shadow floats down the steps and goes down a drain.)

Piper

Come on, Phoebe, trolls and fairies? You don't believe that stuff.

Phoebe

Sure, why not?

Piper

(to Prue) Well, maybe it's time we tell her about Santa...

Piper

Why are you being so stubborn about this?

Phoebe

Because I'm a Scorpio, what's your excuse?

Prue

Okay. So, it's kinda late, and, ummm, we're all a little bit tired so how about we finish this up tomorrow?

Phoebe

Now look what you did, you went and turned Prue into the middle child.

Phoebe

We all had the same invisible fairy friend Piper. That is proof that fairies exist.

Piper

Or it proves that one of us had a really fertile imagination, and the other two were really big copycats.

Piper

I'm done.

Phoebe

What does that mean?

Piper

That means that the Powers That Be haven't done anything but ruin my life, so I'm not doing anything for them anymore. Ok? (walks around Phoebe) I going now. ...I'm going now.

Phoebe

I think she's on strike.

Prue

lets go to the doorway and Piper you freeze

Phoebe

Dammit Dammit Dammit, whats the use of the power if i cant use if when i need it

Prue

Whats it doing

Piper

I think it wants us to follow it

Prue

Hey, are you a good witch or a bad witch?

Piper

I'm going to be a very good witch from now on.

Prue

And you picked a role model that wears lots and lots of pink?

Piper

Yes.

Leo

Glinda helped innocents didn't she?

Piper

Yes.

Phoebe

You had the answer all along? That's not help, that's mind games.

Phoebe

This costume happens to be a protest statement.

Prue

I am so impressed that you can make a protest statement and show cleavage all at the same time.

Phoebe

Thanks.

Prue

From what they're wearing it looks to be what the 16...1700's...

Phoebe

Where the life expectancy of the average witch is, oh, 15 minutes.

Piper

What are those?

Prue

A way to always be prepared.

Phoebe

These are very large contraceptives, Prue.

Phoebe

I'm bummed for you Piper, but I've got to tell you, Leo is looking fine!

Piper

I thought you said you didn’t see anything.

Phoebe

I didn’t… at least nothing good!

Phoebe

I have a date with Cole.

Prue

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Phoebe

It's a lunch date!

Prue

So?

Phoebe

So! It's a bad sign. Lunch is a cheap imitation of dinner, that's why it has its own special menu.

Phoebe

So...how about those Niners?

Cole

What?

Phoebe

The Niners. The Forty-Niners. The football team. You don't follow football? [to Leo and Piper] He isn't human.

Cole

(coughs on his water) Check!