He took off for a lunch date.
In a Ferrari full of flight attendant?
Yeah, he's probably trying to rack up his frequent flyer miles.
I'm sorry. But you know she's just a passing thing.
Do I? I mean, the guy has been divorced twice, and he's still chasing bimbos. Maybe that's just who he is.
Look, maybe it's the wrong time or maybe he's even the wrong guy, but if he is, how long are you gonna wait to find out? Ten years, I've been keeping them [referring to the dead bodies in the morgue] company while they spend a night or two here on their way to where we're all going. They all had plans, Kate, things they were gonna do when they got around to it Go on a cruise, lose 10 pounds, fall in love. They thought they had all the time in the world. But nobody does.
Speaking of partners, I’ve seen pictures of yours. She’s smoking hot. You’re tapping her, right?
Oh. What’s wrong with you?
There’s nothing wrong with me. We’re just friends.
A man needs a friend, he gets a dog. Woman like that, you storm the beaches or die trying, come on.
[After listening to the 911 phone recording]
Now, Charlie made this 911 call moments after the attack. Does it sound like he’s faking to you?
It sounds like Charlie’s having a psychotic break. What if his guilt made him snap and he created a fantasy in which zombies killed David and not him?
I’m not so sure. I mean, his voice does have that authentic ring of pants-wetting terror.
You do not believe in Charlie’s story.
I believe he believes it.
Okay, well, whatever you believe, all evidence points to the fact that Charlie Coleman is our killer.
Maybe not all the evidence. CSU analyzed that bite mark on Charlie’s arm. Turns out that it matches the bite mark on our victim.
Maybe Charlie bit David and then he bit himself?
Well, I was thinking the same thing, but CSU also says that the bite marks weren’t made by Charlie’s teeth.
Oh, wait, um… Sorry. Let me make sure I understand so that I might properly relish this moment. You’re saying the evidence shows that Charlie and the victim both were bitten by an as yet unknown third party?
Perhaps even a mindless, shuffling undead third party?
Castle, just stop. There’s no such thing as a zombie.
[After watching the security camera tape which reveals the killer as…]
My friends… that, is a zombie.
[walks out and announces]
Our killer’s a zombie! [Slaps hands with a woman walking by]
You’re rather upbeat, considering you said this was your last case with Beckett.
CCastle
That’s because I am going out with a bang. I have one word for you, Mother. Zombie.
CCastle
You look lovely. I’m referring to our victim being killed by one of he walking undead. And I mean that literally. A zombie. Security camera caught him in all his putrefying glory.
Whoo. I don’t suppose you downloaded this video, by chance?
CCastle
Absolutely not. That video is police property. It would be very, very wrong of me to get a screen grab of it and e-mail it to myself.
Well, it’ll be our little secret, darling.
[Both move over to the tablet on the nearby table]
CCastle
I’m actually surprised at your interest in this case, Mother.
Well, I really do know the difference between a first-rate makeup job and actual decay. You wanna see some real zombies, check out the red carpet at the Tony Awards.
[Notices the chest piece to his Laser-Tag and picks it up]
CCastle
I thought I… I thought I put this away.
[Martha steps away from him. Castle notices and immediately realizes he’s been set up]
CCastle
[Looking around] Where is she? Where is she?
[The chest piece beeps and Alexis swoops down on a hook-rope in her Laser Tag suit, cackling manically]
[Speaking villainously] You were a fool to buy my act yesterday, and now you’ve fallen right into my trap.
CCastle
[Dramatically] You will pay dearly for your treachery. [To Martha] Et tu, Mother? For luring me here?
Why, whatever do you mean?
CCastle
Mmm. [Back to Alexis] That’s my girl.
[Unhooking herself from the rope] So what’s this about a zombie?
Charlie’s pretty convinced about this whole zombie thing.
Yeah, but that’s just… That’s ridiculous.
Or is it? Charlie has not been wrong yet. Maybe our killer is Patient Zero, out there right now in the streets of New York, building an army of the undead.
Castle, what we are looking for is not a zombie, but a very smart criminal who murdered David Lock and is now making our only witness look crazy. And he also dressed up in makeup and a costume to hide his identity.
Unless that’s not costume or makeup.
I mean, he does look like a real zombie.
A real zombie? I’m embarrassed for you, bro.
Okay, then explain this. Why would a zombie go after a currency trader at 4:00 am in a garage?
This one’s easy. The more intelligent the victim, the more delicious the brains.
I’m telling you, that guy was dead.
Remind me never to choke on a chicken bone in front of you.
Hey, you checked that guy! So did the paramedics.
Whoa, you guys! I’m sure that there’s a medical explanation for it.
Oh, there’s an explanation, alright.
Come on, you were there, you saw it. He rose from the dead.
He didn’t rise from the dead, Castle. He wasn’t dead in the first place.
He’s not a zombie, Castle. He’s just a murderer.
Well, then, what was his motive for murder, Detective Esposito? Kyle sold insurance. He had no criminal record. There’s no evidence he even knew our victim.
He’s a human killer, with a human motive
Or he’s a zombie killer, with a zombie motive
Castle, do you really believe in all this zombie stuff, because I would swear on my nana’s grave that Kyle Jennings was dead.
No. You know what I do believe in? Driving Beckett crazy.
Yeah, I have to say, it’s good to see you guys hitting it off again.
