[About the bachelor-party cop twins' uniforms at the photo shoot] Hey, Beckett, how come you don't wear a uniform like that?
Because I don't want to be paid in singles.
S2 E1Deep in Death
Guy in a tree; Mom and Dad bickering. Seems like old times!
Mm-hmm!
[About what he found about Beckett's mother] What was I suppose to do? Not tell her what I found?
[Surprised] What you found?
Oh she didn't tell you, did she? Three people were killed the same way her mother was, right about the same time. One of them was a former law student of hers, another one a documents clerk, the third one a lawyer for a non-profit.
Wait, the M.E. at the time didn't make the connection?
If he did, he buried it.
Did you talk to him?
He died four years ago. So you see why I had to tell her.
You know what I don't get? Who would steal a dead body?
Oh, plenty of people. Organ harvesters, cadaver-less med students, Satanists. [pause] Mad scientists looking to create their own monster.
Or the guys who killed him might have left some evidence behind.
Boring. How about a spy having swallowed a microchip that the enemy spies murder him over before the CIA can get ahold of him?
You want me to put on some music? Whenever they do this sort of thing on CSI, they always do it to music in poorly lit rooms. Kinda reminds me of porn.
[to Lanie who is examining a body in a tree] How's it going up there?.
I got tree branches poking my boobs and a spotlight shining up my booty.
Could be worse. You could be wearing a skirt.
[pause] When I come down, Im'ma smack you.
I'm looking forward to that.
*in a Russian accent* Sometimes when I am bored, I go to Glechik Cafe in Little Odessa and pretend to be Muscovite.
Now that's kinda hot!
She may have built up a wall between us, but I am going to build a door in that wall. Or put up a ladder. [thinking] Or dig a hole.
[examining Castle after the car crash] He'll live.
What, no brain damage?
If he has some, it happened way before tonight and was probably self-inflicted.
Ahh, good times.
S2 E2The Double Down
[written on a therapist's body] "Psycho the rapist your out of time"?
Looks like a patient lost their patience.
Also his command of grammar. "Your" should be You-apostrophe-R-E as in "you are." That's not even a tough one, not like when to use "who" or "whom."
You really think that's the take-away here, Castle?
I'm just saying - whoever killed her also murdered the English language.
[After Beckett discovers that Castle placed a bet with Esposito and Ryan over who would solve their murder first]
Listen, I'm sorry. I know it was wrong, I just-
RRoselyn
Beckett, you are never gonna believe this.
Oh, the bar on "unbelievable" is pretty high right now.
RRoselyn
The vic's husband took out a three-million dollar life insurance policy on his wife last month.
[to Castle] $100 on us.
[After Ryan and Esposito catch a break in their case]
I've got a bad feeling about this.
Are we really rooting against solving a murder?
Well, I don't want to shave my head! Do you?
Why would I shave my head?
You're in on the bet, aren't you?
Yeah, but I didn't realize-
[imitates electric razor]
It's a common mistake, but it's not ironic that Dr. Cosway's not here for you to lean on. It's just simply tragic. It would be ironic if her death made you feel better.
[Beckett, Ryan, and Esposito are at dead ends in their respective cases]
We'll start over. Fresh eyes. You take our murder, we'll take yours.
All right.
[a thought strikes him] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Say that again.
You take our murder, we'll take yours.
Could it be that easy? You take mine, I'll take yours.
What are you getting at, Castle?
Strangers on a Train.
The Hitchcock movie?
I'm partial to the novel by Patricia Highsmith, but yes. We have two strong suspects, but with airtight alibis, right?
Right.
We know they're connected. What if the connection is the killers?
Jason and Eric committed each other's murders.
And made sure they had an airtight alibi for the murder they knew they'd be suspected of. It's not our victims that are connected, it's our murderers. Crisscross!
Lanie ran the substance on our vics against the Hudson River water. It's a match.
Marx gets on the boat uptown, Cosway joins him at Chelsea Piers, and they ride to Pier 11 together.
So one day, maybe they start talking. Maybe about the Yankee bullpen, maybe about the attractive secretary leaning up against the railing. Oh, and Jason starts grumbling about his wife. Eric maybe mentions how he covets Frank's apartment.
Yeah, well, there's an open upper deck. I figure that's where they were doing their plottin'.
And how the water from the Hudson got on both of them.
It gets transferred from Eric Marx's jacket and gloves to Ashley Cosway when they struggle.
Then to Frank Anderson when Jason Cosway swipes his watch and wallet.
Done deal.
Except it's all circumstantial. The DA will never buy it without hard evidence or a confession.
Oh, we're gonna get a confession.
[Beckett and Castle scoff as they look at each other and then back at Ryan and Esposito]
Not if we get one first.
So, bet's back on?
[getting in his face] You bet your britches the bet is back on.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Castle pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.