Well, the pen is mightier than the sword, but a baseball bat can be pretty effective too.
S2 E15Suicide Squeeze
[after hearing Castle comes from a line of mind readers]
Con artists and circus people, huh?
Yeah, and mind-readers.
Really? So tell me what I'm thinking.
Ah! You're... You're thinking... You don't care and you want me to stop talking?
Ooh, that's uncanny.
It's in the blood.
[after accusing a suspect with a lot of evidence]
So you can play dumb, or you can play ball.
Pun intended.
[after being told they were investigating someone's trip to Cuba]
I don't know...me in a swimsuit under the hot, blistering sun.
I'd be happy to rub lotion on you.
What is it with professional sports? Even the agencies are on steroids.
Fox's client list is a veritable who's-who of star athletes. Five percent of their endorsements and salaries? You could pay for half of lower Manhattan.
...did you just use the word "veritable?"
Yes, I did.
Sexy.
You should hear me say "fallacious."
[after meeting Joe Torre]
That was Joe freaking Torre!
We should get a warrant, run his subscribers against any hate mail that the Vegas might have gotten.
You sure you got no cop in the Castle family tree?
No, us Castles are mostly con artists and circus folk, sir.
No, I think there's a little cop in there somewhere.
[Castle’s theory on the suspected killer]
Maybe it was the Cuban government all along. They hated Vega for defecting, so they sent a beautiful spy for him to fall in love with. It works. He smuggles her back home, and bam, he's dead.
Sounds like a Castle story.
[Esposito scoffs]
I'll call it "Corazon de Fuego."
S2 E16The Mistress Always Spanks Twice
Maybe our killer has a sweet tooth.
Given the state of undress I would say it's more likely a sexual fetish.
I can do the chocolate. I will even do the whipped cream bikini, but caramel? I prefer slippery to sticky.
[To Ryan] Does she know we can hear her?
[After learning where Mistress Venom worked]
[On the phone] Hi, my name is Kate, and my boyfriend has been a very bad boy. [Castle smirks] Yes, that's right. His name's Ricky.
What're you doin'? [Chasing after Beckett who is still on the phone]
Actually, a friend of mine recommended a Mistress Venom - is she available tonight? 4pm? Sure, that's perfect, thank you.
OK, that's very funny, now call her back!
Uh-uh Castle, this is the perfect way to get Venom without tipping our hand. [Starting to walk away and turns around] What's the matter Castle, you afraid of a little role play? [Smirking]
Yeah, you better run!
[At the dungeon]
RReceptionist
Welcome to Lady Irena's House Of Pain, how can I serve you?
[Shouting at Castle] Well, answer her! [to the receptionist] You see what I have to deal with? My boyfriend Ricky has an appointment at 4pm with Mistress Venom.
RReceptionist
Will you be joining her?
Oh yes! I've been dying to watch him squirm!
RReceptionist
Mistress Venom will be delighted to have an audience. Follow me please.
Do you think we could gag him?
[Looking concerned] Remember, my safe word is Apples!
[Castle, Beckett and Esposito looking at the suspect in the interrogation room]
Castle, why don’t you sit this one out? I think Mr. Caraway will respond better to a strong…[zips up her jacket] …female hand.
[After Beckett walks away, Castle grins with Esposito]
Sam-I-Am. In a box. With a fox. We’re gonna need some popcorn.
[When Alexis tells Castle and Martha that she’s giving up on cheerleading]
CCastle
Well, we both learned a valuable lesson today. You learned that you can expand your horizons and grow. I learned that, if that involves short skirts and boys, [sternly] I’m not going to like it.
Fair enough.
S2 E17Tick, Tick, Tick...(1)
Ask me why I'm here.
You know, I ask myself that question every day.
Quick, who do you want to play you in the Nikki Heat movie?
[As if it's the most obvious answer in the world] Halle Berry.
See? Some people are just great at that game! You know who we could get for you? Angelina? No. Kate Beckett… Kate Beckinsale. We'll call you K-Becks!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Castle pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.