Ask me why I'm here.
You know, I ask myself that question every day.
“Tick, Tick, Tick...(1)” · Season 2, Episode 17
In this episode: Richard Castle (8), Kate Beckett (4), Lanie Parish (2)
Quick, who do you want to play you in the Nikki Heat movie?
[As if it's the most obvious answer in the world] Halle Berry.
See? Some people are just great at that game! You know who we could get for you? Angelina? No. Kate Beckett… Kate Beckinsale. We'll call you K-Becks!
JJordan
What is he doing?
He, uh, touches things.
Night vision goggles. Think I have the newer model though. Maybe in my third book, Nikki Heat will cross paths with a good looking yet cold-hearted FBI profiler. Call it Federal Heat. [Both Beckett and Jordan glare at him] …Or maybe not.
JJordan
So how long have you two been sleeping together?
Um, we're, we're not sleeping together. We, he just observes me.
JJordan
Yeah, I've seen the way he observes you.
No, she's right. Aside from my second wife, this is most sexless relationship I've ever been in.
JJordan
I've been profiling people for a long time. I'm hardly ever wrong.
Well, this time you are. Wrong.
JJordan
So if you're not sleeping together, why do you keep him around?
You know I can hear you.
He's actually proven to be surprisingly helpful.
JJordan
Huh, I'll take your word on that. [Sees Castle playing with a Taser ] Put. The Taser. Down.
[After Tasering a running suspect] See, I'm helping.
JJordan
Yeah, I'll buy you an ice cream later.
I'm here to protect you.
What, with your vast arsenal of rapier wit?
CBCastle & Beckett
[Simultaneously] She's a taxidermist!
It's so cute the way you two do that.
[Castle grins, Beckett rolls her eyes]
Nikki will burn. I can see the poetry in that. [Beckett looks at him] The terrible, homicidal poetry.
It's a fact of life. People we love leave us. Unless you chain them to a radiator, which for some reason is illegal.
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