Richard Castle quotes from Castle

[Simultaneously] She's a taxidermist!

Lanie

It's so cute the way you two do that.

Beckett

If you keep quoting Jordan, I'm gonna turn the radio way up. [Walks off]

Castle

[To Ryan and Esposito] Jealous.

Martha

Oh, Richard, darling, you're just in time. I made dinner. [Holds up a takeout container]

Castle

Mother, what are you doing here?

Martha

Oh, we're eating. You know, something families do a couple of times a day.

Castle

You know, we might wanna swing down by the museum, see if any of his colleagues can shed some light on who might wanna drop a gargoyle on Medina's head.

Beckett

Either you are being a good cop or you just wanna go to the museum.

Castle

They have dinosaurs there!

Beckett

[Chuckles] Let's go.

Castle

Do you believe that people get what they deserve?

Beckett

Well, if they do then I must have done something pretty terrible to be punished with you.

Castle

Funny.

Ryan

Still no luck with the curse, huh?

Esposito

Look on the bright side, Castle, you die, your book sales skyrocket.

Castle

Great.

[Cuts himself while trying to cut a tomato] What's the difference between curse and clumsy?

Alexis

I'll get a bandaid.

Get two.

Castle

Man! I love this place! When Alexis was little, we used to come here every Sunday. We would run around here for hours pretending like we were on safari in Africa or looking for dinosaurs in China.

Beckett

You know, Castle, sometimes I forget that you have such a capacity for pure innocence in your life.

Castle

Yeah. Plus it was a great place to pick up chicks.

Beckett

And then you open your mouth and you ruin it.

Castle

If something were to happen to me, I want you to watch out for Alexis. She looks up to you. And if her boyfriends get frisky, you can shoot them.

Beckett

Nothing’s gonna happen to you.

Castle

But if it does…

Beckett

Okay. [smiles]

Castle

And would you also go into my closet and get rid of my porn collection before she finds it?

Esposito

Don’t worry, bro. I got you covered on that.

Um…You’re going orienteering, not library-ing. You sure you want to take that many books?

Alexis

Over-ambitious for a five-day trip?

You’re going to be responsible for your own pack. I think you’re supposed to be more Sacagawea than a scholarly reader. Besides, look at all those pages. The trees might want revenge.

Lanie

You know how many strings I had to pull for this, Castle?

Castle

If I’m wrong, I’ll reimburse the city.

Lanie

To hell with the city. It’s me you’re gonna owe. I take spa certificate, jewelry, and cash.

Castle

Duly noted.

Beckett

“FTW”?

Castle

“For the win.” Means, “My tweet kicks your tweet’s butt.” Come on, Beckett. You got to keep up, hang with the cool kids.

Beckett

So, how was your date with your little starlet?

Castle

[scowling] How could you tell this time?

Beckett

Like I said, Castle… [pulls a long strand of hair off his jacket] …trained detective.

Castle

[About the body] That is so cool. Do you mind if I take pictures?

Lanie

Knock yourself out, but if any of them end up on the internet, I will hunt you down and hurt you.

What broke?

Alexis

Stupid glass.

Remind me to get smarter glasses.