Buffy the Vampire Slayer · Season 4
Thanksgiving isn't a-about blending of two cultures. It's about one culture wiping out another! A-and then they make animated specials about the part where... w-with the maize and th-the big, big belt buckles. They don't show you the next scene, where... where all the bison die, a-and Squanto takes a musketball in the stomach!
Okay, now, for some of that, you were channeling your mother?
With Mom at Aunt Darlene's this year, I'm not getting a Thanksgiving. Maybe it's just as well.
Well, I think that's a shame. I love a ritual sacrifice.
It's not really a one of those.
To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrifice... with pie.
I inflicted a lot of putrefying diseases on men when I was an avenging demon, you look like you're getting all of them.
Okay, I'll stay. But you should go, you could catch it.
We'll die together. It's romantic... Help me get your trousers off.
You're a strange girlfriend.
I'm a girlfriend?
Oh, there's a chance I'm delirious.
Ah, yes. Well, whatever it is that's making you sick, so far I like it.
Oh, someone put a stake in me!
You gotta lot of volunteers in here.
I just can't take all this namby-pamby boo-hooing about the bloody Indians.
Uh, the preferred term is-
You won. All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. That's what Caesar did, and he's not going around saying, "I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it." The history of the world is not people making friends. You had better weapons, and you massacred them. End of story.
Well, I think the Spaniards actually did a lot of-- Not that I don't like Spaniards.
Listen to you. How you gonna fight anyone with that attitude?
We don't wanna fight anyone.
I just wanna have Thanksgiving.
Heh. Yeah...Good luck.
If we could talk to him--
You exterminated his race. What could you possibly say that would make him feel better? It's kill or be killed here. Take your bloody pick.
Maybe it's the syphilis talking, but... some of that made sense.
I made a lot of these points earlier, but fine, no one listens to me.
I'll never get used to this. One day, she's at the friendship ceremony. The next day, she's on the news. The coroner's office said she was missing an ear. So I'm thinking, maybe we're looking for a witch. There's some great spells that work much better with an ear in the mix.
That's one fun little hobby you've got there, Will.
Or... or maybe an ear-harvesting demon that--it's, like, building another demon completely out of ears. Or... ooh! Thought. We're just assuming someone else cut off the ear. What if it was self-inflicted, like Van Gogh?
So... she brutally stabs herself, dumped the body, then cut off her own ear?
No. She cut off her ear, then killed herself, then dumped the body--I'm really off my game, aren't I?
I feel lousy.
Well, the turkey came out rather splendidly.
Oh, it was yummy. It's just... did you see me? Two seconds of conflict with an indigenous person, and I... I turn into General Custer.
Violence does that. You know, instinct takes over.
Yeah, that's the fun.
Nobody asked you.
Oh, lay off. You all had a fine meal. But me? An entire siege. You'd think one of you would bleed a little.
Good work, Buffy. On, you know, on both counts.
Thanks.
Well, you know, you should be very pleased.
Wasn't exactly a perfect Thanksgiving.
I don't know. Seemed kind of right to me. A bunch of anticipation, a big fight, and now we're all sleepy.
[chuckles] And we did all survive.
I guess that much is true. First Thanksgiving on my own, and we all got through it.
And you know what? I think my syphilis is clearing right up.
And they say romance is dead. Or maybe they just wish it.
Well, maybe we started a new tradition this year. Maybe not. But at least we all worked together. It was like old times.
Yeah, especially with Angel being here and everything. Oops.
Seeing Angel in LA, even for five minutes... hello to the pain.
The pain is not a friend.
But I can't help thinking, isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it's nuts, but part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting. (Stakes a vampire) I wonder where I get that from?
Look, Spike - we have no intention of killing a harmless... uh, creature... we have to know what's been done to you. We can't let you go until we're sure that you're... impotent...
Hey!
Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we're sure you're, you're...
Flaccid?
You are one step away, missy -
[sarcastically] Giles, help! He's going to scold me.
...
Oh, look at my poor neck... all bare and tender and exposed. All that blood, just pumping away.
Oh, please.
Giles, make her stop.
[walks away] If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand.
Passions is on! Timmy's down a bloody well, and if you make me miss it I'll -
Do what? Lick me to death?
Spike and I are getting married!
How? What? How?
Three excellent questions.
[to Buffy] What are you looking at?
The man I love.
[She and Spike kiss, long and salaciously. Xander and Anya avert their eyes.]
Can I be blind too?
Don't I get a cookie?
No.
Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth.
You're a pig, Spike.
Yeah, well, I'm not the one who wanted Wind Beneath My Wings for the first dance.
[Xander, Anya and Giles turn and stare incredulously at Buffy.]
[embarrassed] ... That was the spell!
[about Riley] It's just... different, you know? A picnic. First of all, daylight. That's kind of a new venue, Buffy-wise. And the best part, he said that he would bring all the food, so all I have to do is show up and eat. Those are two things I'm really good at.
So, he's nice?
Very, very.
And there's sparkage?
Yeah. He's... Have you seen his arms? Those are... good arms to have. I really like him. I do.
But?
I don't know. I really like being around him, you know? And I think he cares about me. But... I just... feel like something's missing.
He's not making you miserable?
Exactly. Riley seems so solid, like... he wouldn't cause me heartache.
Get out. Get out while there's still time.
I know. I have to get away from that "bad boy" thing. There's no good there. Seeing Angel in L.A., even for five minutes, hello to the pain.
The pain is not a friend.
But I can't help thinking, isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it's nuts, but part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting. (Stakes a vampire) I wonder where I get that from.
[chuckles] You thought I was serious?
Well, no. Um, you weren't serious?
Oh, God, please. I'm marrying a guy named Spike?
Maybe. We haven't known each other that long.
[chuckles] No. It's just... I saw that fear in your eyes when you caught me looking at wedding dresses, and I had to give you a hard time.
I did not have fear in my eyes.
Yes, you did. You were looking at me like I was a cartoon ball and chain.
So you decided to tell me you're getting married.
Uh-huh.
So... you're insane.
Uh-huh.
But you're still single.
Yes.
Okay then. Just another little piece of the Buffy puzzle.
You really have a lot to learn about women, Riley.
You're gonna teach me.
Can't even shout, can't even cry
The gentlemen are coming by
Looking in windows, knocking on doors
They need to take seven and they might take yours
Can't call to mom, can't say a word
You're gonna die screaming but you won't be heard.
Man, that was an exciting class, huh?
Oh, yeah -- wow.
And the last twenty minutes -- it was a revelation. Just laid out everything we need to know for the final. I'd hate to have missed that.
Just tell me I didn't snore.
Very discreet. Minimal drool.
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