Eric Matthews quotes from Boy Meets World

Eric

All right, look, I'm glad you're both here. Listen to me. I've been reading a lot about this guy named Gandhi. Now Gandhi's an Indian. He's a Cherokee, I think, but that's not really what's important. Gandhi is a master at solving all conflicts peacefully. Now the first thing we need to do is start a dialogue. [Jack and Shawn remain silent] Okay, to have a dialogue, somebody has to talk. [looks in his book] Somebody has to talk, yeah. So who's gonna go first?

Jack

[to Shawn] Aw, to hell with you, man.

Eric

Now that's good. Let's build from that.

Shawn

[to Jack] To hell with you, too.

Jack

Eric?

Eric

[dressed like a prophet] No, not Eric, not any more.

Jack

Uh-huh. It's fine, it's just fine... [walks out, sighs, then walks back in] Okay, what is your name now?

Eric

My name... is Plays With Squirrels.

Jack

Perfect. Even more insane.

Eric

Insane? If giving away all your worldly possessions, renouncing society and learning how to purify and drink your own urine is insane, then well... Yes, color me insane.

Eric

[to Amy] You never breast-fed me!

Alan

Eric --

Eric

You didn't either! Breast-fed kids are skinny. Formula fed kids are fat. You know, at first I blamed it on myself. I thought maybe glands, and then I thought maybe metabolism. But then I thought to myself, I'm no racist! So it all goes back to you guys.

Alan

Listen, Porky, we're in the middle of a serious family discussion here.

Eric

Y'know something, I take it back, it is about cleaning out the stupid garage. Dad wanted us to do that together, and you chose to leave me out. Those were our memories! Do you have any idea how it felt to go down there and see Shawn and Topanga there instead of me?

Cory

Look, Eric, we're brothers, okay?

Eric

Y'know what, you're right. We're brothers. We're not friends. That means you don't have to like me, and you don't. [exits]

Eric

Your wife was transported to an alternate universe. As far as I can tell, your closet is a vortex that connects your reality with ours.

Cory

Topanga, come out of the closet, Eric's drunk!

Eric

Drunk with knowledge.

Someone's here to see you.

Eric

You mean a case?

No silly, a person.

Cory

Why does everyone always take Topanga's side?!

Eric

Boobies.

Eric

FEENAH! FEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEENAH! FEENYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! OOO, THAT WAS A NEW ONE!

Feeny

You are NOT CALLING A DUCK!

Topanga

I will never forget you. You were more of a father to me than my own dad.

Shawn

You...you never gave up on me. Never once. I'm...I'm not gonna forget you. You're the best person I know.

Eric

I don't know what's gonna happen to me. But I do know that I'm gonna be a good person who cares about people, and I blame you for that.