Michelle's family to me. I'm here number one uncle.
P Perry
Really? She, she didn't meantion...
I'm also a trained sniper.
Listen, Perry, all right? You're a red-blooded young man and uh, Michelle's - she's an attractive young girl. So I assume that you...
Because Michelle deserves your respect, you understand?
P Perry
I do! I do respect her. We were just going to the movies tonight.
All right. And if you behave anyway less than a gentleman to her, I'll find you. I think we understand each other, right?
Were you guys aware that Arastoo doesn't really have an accent?
Yeah, he does. It's thicker than Ahmed the rug merchant. Was that racist? It sounded racist.
[watches Cam walk into his office without knocking] No, no, no. You can't just walk in here!
Arastoo Vasiri, our Muslim intern, he's been faking his accent. At first I go where everyone else goes, you know? [singsong voice] Terrorist!
Wouldn't a terrorist fake not having an accent?
Is it crazy or just weird? Weird I can deal with, but crazy? [shakes head and begins to leave the office]
Wait. What do you want me to do?
PL Paula Lindbergh
I was afraid this would come up when I heard you took Trey in for questioning.
You're right, so start talking.
P Paula
I should never have made Elliot move to the suburbs. In a way, I emasculated him.
Oh, God. She's a therapist. She talks like a therapist.
[...]
Interlocking lines of persuasion between members of the collective result in multiple duplicities.
P Paula
Oh, my God. She's an anthropologist. She talks like an anthropologist!
It takes a village, Bones.
A village to raise a kid properly! It takes a village!
Metaphorically. It doesn't mean we must all grow up in hamlets of 800 people or less.
Thanks. Will you be my village?
I need Parker to know that I lead a full and rewarding life.
No, you don't. You work too much, you don't socialize, all which prevents you from having a sex life.
Okay, let's take a hint from the suburbs and just make it look good.
Wait, you to know if I'll help you fool your son into thinking your life is gratifying?
Come to dinner with us, have fun, laugh at my jokes.
That might actually turn out to be fun, thus becoming a self fulfilling desire.
Yes! I will be your hamlet of 800 people or less.
Can't you be his girlfriend?
That would be inappropriate.
Because we work together.
B Booth
Bones, I'm really not comfortable with the questions you're asking.
Booth, could you maybe trust me for a second? Trust that I can say the right thing? In the time I've been with you I've learned a lot about how to deal with people. [looks to Parker] Your father is very, very good with people.
Then why doesn't he have a girlfriend?
B Booth
And we're off! [gets a look from Brennan] Okay. All right.
Can I ask you a question? [Parker nods] Why do you think your father needs a girlfriend so much?
B Booth
Bones, there's a whole gender/parent bond thing going on here. He's just going to get confused.
He doesn't sound confused.
[Irritated without Jordanian accent] I am a scientist! Okay? Just like the rest of you. I can deal! So please just back off and let me do my job!
[With Jordian accent] I apologize for my outburst.
Cam'
[as he's leaving] I have to pray.
There's a guy on my street who cut his lawn on the diagonal. The neighbors got angry, someone set his garage on fire.
Well, I mean yards, sidewalks, you know, clean streets, birds flying by...
Dead body in the barbecue pit.
Oh, okay. You know what, I'm going to go talk to the neighbors, see if anyone who cut their lawn diagonally is missing.
B Booth
Whoa-whoa-whoa, wait a second. You and Parker discussed my sex life?
Well, we discussed your lack of sex life.
B Booth
Angela, neither you nor him, especially him, knows anything about my sex life.
Well, he knows that daddy ain't getting any, and he's concerned. He thinks you need a girlfriend... to have sex.
Well, his exact words were, "To sex up." I think you need to talk to him honestly about your love life.
B Booth
You kidding me? No offense, but I'm not talking about...
[Cam enters]
Want to run our friendly neighborhood suburbanites through the National Gun Permit Database, see if any of them own a .44? Hodgins found that in the pit. [She hands Booth the bagged bullet]
Hi, Dr. Saroyan. Do you have a boyfriend?
See? This is exactly how it started with me.
[Cam looks puzzled and amused]
B Booth
[Walking to Parker] Come on. Let's go. Come on. I gotta get you back home, or your mom's gonna kill me, all right? [They turn to leave – he looks at Parker's painted face] Let me see this stuff. [To Angela] Does this stuff come off?
Oh, seriously. That's your big worry right now?
What are you doing here, Sweets?
He's Daisy's trainer. If she attacks, he can put her down.
Hey! How could you not tell me you were on a date when I texted you?
Celibate. Seeking crumbs. Spill.
He's Booth's boss's boss. His name is Andrew.
Wait, this is his boss's boss? Was Booth upset?
Brennan, this could screw up the natural order of things, and Booth wishes that you were going out with him.
I drink with him all the time, but with Andrew there is the potential for sex.
Dr. Saroyan, I'm having some serious problems with Daisy. Can I ask your advice?
Really. I have a sixteen year old, and believe me, when it comes to dating advice, I am batting a red hot zero.
But you've been through this like a million times yourself!
Did you just call me old?
Bones doesn't feel pressure to act or do or say anything that she doesn't want to, and no one, no one, can make her. That's what makes her Bones.
I have to speak. I hate these things.
What are you talking about, Bones? You're great at these things. Listen, you changed history. How many people can say that?
You can. Every arrest you make changes history. You make the world safer.
With your help. So, Andrew. You were going to take him to this thing. At least that's what you told me.
I was, yes, but you and I -- this was our case. I guess what goes on between us, that should just be ours. Isn't that what you said?
When I was in Rio, some kid graffitied a mummy in the National Museum. Next day, choked on his own tongue.
Death shall come on swift wings to he who disturbs the peace of the mummy.
I guess I'd be angry too if someone pulled my brain out through my nose and stuck it in a canopic jar.
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bones pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
