I'm gonna go bet my sisters that there isn't a talking toilet in the woods. That's what we call easy money!
TToilet
Loading artist Eddie Money.
(Eddie Money's "Baby Hold On" begins to play)
No, no, no! Cancel! Undo!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
(The Belcher kids discover Thomas Edison's "Electrocuting an Elephant" film online.)
Ooh, an elephant! I'll bet she sneezes and it's adorable!
(In the video, Topsy is electrocuted and falls over dead.)
TGTina, Gene, Louise
Aaahhhhhh!
What was that!? Play it again, play it again!
(Louise replays the video.)
TGTina, Gene, Louise
Aaahhhhh!
It was electrocuted! To death! On purpose! In public! By Thomas Edison!
What is he, a super villain?
Oh, hello, Mr. Dinkler. What a day for science, eh?
Louise give me the word when you want me to hit the switch.
DMr. Dinkler
I know what you're up to you hooligan. Jeremy saw everything last night.
Oh you son of a snitch! What's your favorite movie? Squeal Magnolias?
JJeremy
War Horse.
DMr. Dinkler
You're trying to sully Edison's good name, and nobody messes with my man, Tom. That's it you're banned.
Awww, Bobby! That's what I love about you. All your sad stories.
Remember, Tina - a nerd in the hand is worth...not really that much. Never mind.
(Tina can't decide who she wants to go to the dance with. She imagines Josh and Jimmy Jr. dancing to persuade her)
JJosh
Choose me, Tina! I asked you first!
But you asked me first!
JJosh
We've got chemistry!
I've got a butt. Look at it!
JJosh
I asked you and only you.
As far as you know.
What?
He said, "As far as you know!"
JJosh
I didn't say it. You said it!
Don't worry about who said it. Just watch the butt!
You saved us, Gene. I owe you my life.
No thanks. I've seen it, and I'm not impressed!
[singing] I'm not afraid of ghosts,
I'm not afraid of sharks,
I'm not afraid of cancer,
I'm just afraid of snakes!
They really creep me out!
Where are their arms and legs?!
It's not okay!
(The Belchers are in the car, which Bob can't get started.)
Can we roll down the windows? I'm starting to breathe in Tina's breath.
I think I forgot to brush this morning. Did I?
(She breathes in Louise's face.)
Yeah. Yeah, you did.
Can we just go already? Gene took off his shoes!
And my socks!
Eww! Why don't you wash your children!?
Your ass is grass. And I'm gonna mow it.
This is a big weekend for us. It's Fleet Week.
Yay! Feet Week!
No, Fleet Week. Why would there be a "Feet Week?"
I don't know. There's Arbor Day. Who needs that?
Did you shave my arm?
EDr. Eigerman
Uh, yeah.
Why did he shave my arm?
He shaved your arm.
Why did he shave my arm, Lin?
Because he's a doctor.
What happened when I passed out!?
[Not even 5 seconds later:]
My other arm is shaved!
EDr Eigerman
Mm-hmm.
Why'd you shave my body?!
He's looking for other cuts.
[Boyz 4 Now sing in their music video:]
AAllen
I'm mining the cave for love.
BBBoo Boo
Don't care about the world above.
GGriffin
Down here it's dark and cold.
MMatt
I'm just lookin' for a nugget of gold.
GGriffin
My hat is hard but my heart is soft.
MMatt
It's dusty down here and so I cough.
AAllen
Cough cough.
AAll
It's a dirty job, but I ain't stopping.
GGriffin
I know I'm breathin' toxins but you're lookin' foxy.
AAllen
Will you be mine?
AAll
Coal mine
AAllen
Will you be mine?
AAll
Diamond—
[Louise turns the TV off]
Hey, I was watching that!
Bad enough I'm being forced to go to their concert. It's like I'm going to the electric chair and you're making me watch videos of the electric chair.
Start making piles of stuff that could go together.
Uh... Okay, I got one! Lipstick, pepper spray, tiny baby carrots.
What's the theme?
"Woman of the Night!" She gets dressed up, she kills a john, she has a snack!
Uh, let's keep making piles.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bob's Burgers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.