Alex quotes from Blue Heelers

Jonesy

Impersonating ESD...what do you get for that?

I don't know, I don't think it's ever been done.

Jonesy

What happens when the real ESD show up and she mentions you?

Oh, God, we're stuffed.

How sensitive is that thing?

See that magpie over there?

Yeah...

It just farted.

What do you do for a living, sir?

Well, you just had a squiz in the back. What does it look like?

Well, you tell me.

Long distance carrier, this job's furniture removal.

And who uses bales of tobacco as furniture?

Jonesy

Some mate you turned out to be.

What?

Jonesy

Susie.

Jonesy

Well, they reckon the skull could be ancient.

Oh, what? Mt. Thomas Man, ten thousand years old?

Jonesy

Couldn't be, the Boss is still walking around.

Yeah! Right on, Foxy! You sure told them!

Don't ever call me that again, 'ACTING' Sergeant!

So what do you need me to do, Sarge?

I don't need the formal stuff. Call me Alex.

Whatever you say, Sarge.

So what footy team do you follow?

Don't really.

C'mon, everyone has a footy team.

Lions, I guess.

Oh, that's right, you're a banana bender.

Sometimes it doesn't hurt to be a little flexible.

You mean piss-weak.

He's lying.

Or he just doesn't respond well to being badgered!

You don't hit someone over guitar practice.

This kid did! Look, even his father didn't think it was out of character, what more do you want?

The truth.

I don't know why the council bothers with this sign. None of the kids are getting any better at reading it.

Well they wouldn't have to trespass if the council just left the gate open.

Well that's a flawless piece of logic.

Are you happy with your treatment by the police here today?

Nah! Don't like my women so uptight...you're gonna die a virgin, sweetheart!

I'll die much happier than any of your girlfriends.

So finally your sluttish ways have come back to haunt you!

Jonesy

I wasn't that bad.

Old rubber hips Jonesy.

Jonesy

This isn't funny.

Oh it is. Just a little bit.

Don't worry about a kiss...

Jonesy

Aw, I'll give you one if it means that much to you.

We have to stop living together.