“The Ticket Out” quotes from Blue Heelers

Tom

Three men dead in one shift is not a good look, Jones.

Jonesy

Even if they were all scum?

Sir, Senior Sergeant Croydon is out of control.

Tell me something I don't know.

Yesterday he kept you out of the loop and sent Senior Constable Jones out on a very delicate assignment.

This would be Senior Constable 'Barking Mad' Jones.

This station has more cowboys than the cast of Oklahoma.

The Jurassic Age is over. The time of the dinosaurs has passed and mammals now rule the earth. You'd want to ask yourself what team you're on.

Tom

This time yesterday, we had four gangsters alive, well and operating. Today, three of them are dead and the other one is going down for murder. So what's the problem?

You.

We've got a tobacco farmer knocked on the head, six bales of tobacco missing.

Six bales...what's that worth?

Bootleg tobacco...seven grand a bale...

Forty-two big ones. I'm in the wrong job.

You should get your husband to the hospital, Mrs. Cole. He could have concussion.

You spend your life at that hospital.

Now why didn't I marry a sympathetic woman like that?

What do you do for a living, sir?

Well, you just had a squiz in the back. What does it look like?

Well, you tell me.

Long distance carrier, this job's furniture removal.

And who uses bales of tobacco as furniture?

I'd rather get in trouble with the mafia.

Well, by the look of you, you probably know all about them.

Brendan has just won first prize for the greatest number of lies told in one sentence.

So, how are things with the mafia?

That's twice you've made that remark. Wanna say it again? No.

There are guidelines, PJ, and they apply to all of us.

Even to the Boss?

Yeah, even to the Boss.

What are you getting at?

We came into the station, you must have seen him and you walked out again. You missed the initial interview and now you want to charge him. You haven't even talked to him.

You saying I lack objectivity?

I'm asking if you two have a history.

You just crossed the line, PJ. My history is my history and no one else's, full stop.

First move now is to make a statement of exactly what happened.

I've already told him what happened, I told him three times.

And if you want to see a judge and jury laugh their socks off, you'll tell them the same story.

You are not my judge, PJ! No one is my judge!

Judge of what?