PJ quotes from Blue Heelers

Maggie, I love you more than anything else on earth. That's why I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know it's taken a while. But...Maggie, marry me?

Maggie

Yes! It fits! It's perfect!

Maggie

Do you think they bought it?

Yep, you pick a pretty good fight. Love you Maggie.

Maggie

I love you too.

Jack

Yeah, I told him he should set it in a cop shop manned by an aging Detective called PJ. Except give it a twist, make him gay. And then there's Jack. He's, ah, ruggedly handsome, quiet and determined. He'll be the real hero of the show.

Yes, yes, and of course Jack will get the girl.

Jack

Oh, PJ will get the boy!

Littering?

Tess

It was the first thing I thought of.

Unbelievable! I just found out why my Mum hasn't been returning my phone calls.

Tess

Is she alright?

Oh yeah, she's fine. She's been having a dirty weekend with some guy that lives down the road.

Tess

Yeah? Good on her!

Tess, this is my mother we're talking about.

Tess

So?

So...mother's aren't supposed to do things like this. How would you feel if it was your mother?!

You were a grave digger!

Jonesy

Yeah. I mean, it's dirty work. But you meet a lot of people, they're mostly dead.

At least they don't talk back.

Anything else you'd like to share with us, Constable?

Jonesy

Yeah...I don't like brussell sprouts.

Jo

This is a waste of time.

Go get him, Jo-Jo.

This is crap.

And you're full of it.

Jo

Jonesy, can you give me a hand to lift this thing?

Jonesy

Yeah...

You don't want me? Joanna, I am deeply offended.

Jonesy

PJ, can you blame her? I'll see you in the car.

Alright, Schwarzneggar!

Tom

So what are your plans for tomorrow?

Just another day.

Tom

Get out of it. Don't you usually spend Christmas with your Mum?

Yes, well, she's ahh...spending Christmas with her new ahh...What do you call it when they're that age?

Tom

Ahh...lover?

Well that was the word I was looking not to say. I mean, I don't even like the idea of my Mum having sex with my Dad!

Tom

That's pathetic, PJ!

This is a thousand times worse. I don't even want to think about it.

Tom

Are you suggesting there should be some kind of sunset peclause on sex?

Absolutely! I mean, if you're over 50 and my mother, you shouldn't be having sex. In fact, you shouldn't be having sex full stop...Present company excluded, of course.

Jo

I can't believe it! I'm supposed to be drivin' to Frankstown now...I've even got my bathers on...

Bathers?!

Jo

Yeah, I was gonna go straight to the beach.

If it keeps raining you won't need to go to the beach...You're wearing them now?

Jo

Yeah, well, you didn't give me time to change!

One piece or two? Academic interest, that's all!

Jo

Yeah Right

Jo

Why are you so cheerful all of a sudden, anyway?

You, me, your bikini, the prospect of Mal Yates on toast! What's not to be cheerful about?

Jo

I didn't say I was wearing a bikini.

You've got to help me. My brother's coming home for Christmas.

Jo

Isn't that a good thing?

My brother's coming home to murder me.

Now you're talking.

If the bastard wants to murder me, he can do it with a beer in my hand.

Well go and drink it somewhere else. I'll tell you, I'll murder him if his brother doesn't.