Look out! Reindeer Patrol, here we come!
So what are your plans for tomorrow?
PPJ
Just another day.
Get out of it. Don't you usually spend Christmas with your Mum?
PPJ
Yes, well, she's ahh...spending Christmas with her new ahh...What do you call it when they're that age?
Ahh...lover?
PPJ
Well that was the word I was looking not to say. I mean, I don't even like the idea of my Mum having sex with my Dad!
That's pathetic, PJ!
PPJ
This is a thousand times worse. I don't even want to think about it.
Are you suggesting there should be some kind of sunset peclause on sex?
PPJ
Absolutely! I mean, if you're over 50 and my mother, you shouldn't be having sex. In fact, you shouldn't be having sex full stop...Present company excluded, of course.
Hi.
Merry Christmas.
Yeah, you too.
I didn't know what to bring, so...
Anything's fine.
So...I didn't bring anything.
Oh! That's fine too.
What are you looking for?
Mistletoe.
Get out!
Merry Christmas!
I can't believe it! I'm supposed to be drivin' to Frankstown now...I've even got my bathers on...
PPJ
Bathers?!
Yeah, I was gonna go straight to the beach.
PPJ
If it keeps raining you won't need to go to the beach...You're wearing them now?
Yeah, well, you didn't give me time to change!
PPJ
One piece or two? Academic interest, that's all!
Yeah Right
Why are you so cheerful all of a sudden, anyway?
PPJ
You, me, your bikini, the prospect of Mal Yates on toast! What's not to be cheerful about?
I didn't say I was wearing a bikini.
WWinifred
More lemonade?
Winifred, you're defeating the purpose of surveillance. How are we supposed to do this discretely if you keep popping over here every five minutes like a demented jack in the box!
I reckon Mrs Yates is living in La La Land.
BBen
Congratulations, engine off please. You've just won the idiot of the night award.
BBrian
You've got to help me. My brother's coming home for Christmas.
Isn't that a good thing?
BBrian
My brother's coming home to murder me.
PPJ
Now you're talking.
GGrace
We're parrishoners, Tom, not pyromaniacs.
PPJ
Mal Yates is my Christmas present. He's the only one I'm likely to get. I want him.
I think your sister's got a better chance of getting your car home unscratched then you do. And apart from that, I'll have to arrest you if you try to start it up.
BBrian
If the bastard wants to murder me, he can do it with a beer in my hand.
PPJ
Well go and drink it somewhere else. I'll tell you, I'll murder him if his brother doesn't.
GGrace
What did you talk about?
This and that.
GGrace
Specifically which and what?
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