(sees all the boxes in the office) What the hell happened here?
(long pause) Okay, here's the thing...
S2The Hippocratic Oath
S2The Rumor
[After Becker, under doctor's orders to eat more healthily, orders a fruit salad at the diner]
RRRegina 'Reggie' Kostas
[confused] Fruit!? You don't eat fruit, you hate fruit!
Look, you don't want my business, there are plenty of places that'll give me fruit without an argument!
RRRegina 'Reggie' Kostas
Sorry! I'm just so used to you eating wrong.
Of course I eat wrong; I eat here!
BBob
Bob knows what you're trying to do; you're trying to make him look bad in front of Reggie. Well, it won't work; she aches for me!
RRRegina 'Reggie' Kostas
[coldly] Bob, you turn my stomach!
BBob
[undeterred] That's an ache.
S2All The Rage
Well, I went to my first anger class and it worked... I'm pissed as hell. I'm in a room with a bunch of psychos, they hand out pamphlets and get this: Its an anger symptom early warning device.
RRRegina 'Reggie' Kostas
Its a rubber band.
Oh! College girl! Anyway, I'm supposed to snap it every time I feel angry.
Doesn't that hurt?
Yes.
Won't that make you more angry?
Shut up.
RRRegina 'Reggie' Kostas
Behavior modification works very well to help break behavioral patterns.
Yeah, look Reg, a couple of classes at the institute of psychology and air conditioner repair doesn't qualify you to pepper me with dime-store generalities.
S2Old Yeller
[Becker storms into the diner]
Well it's official, they finally turned New York into a police state! I'm driving to work, and like I do every morning when I get to the corner of White Plains Road and Lester Avenue, I turn right- and I know it's a one way street but I only go twenty five yards before I take a shortcut down this alley! Today, some idiot of a cop is lying in wait for me, and he tickets me for an illegal urn, broken tailight, no seatbelt, and oh yeah, no rear-view mirror! I'M GOING THE WRONG WAY DOWN A ONE-WAY STREET, THERE'S NOTHING BEHIND ME!
S2The Roast That Ruined Them
MWMargaret Wyborn
[After Becker invites her into his apartment in his underpants] Either I'm early or this is a different kind of party!
S2The Bearer of Bad Tidings
[Linda stands up with a post-it note stuck on her forehead]
I had a message for Margaret but I can't find it.
Was it to tell her Mrs. Cooper called?
Wow, it's like you read my mind.
Some are easier than others.
[Becker walks away and Margaret comes in]
I have a message for you.
Was it to tell me Mrs. Cooper called?
Wow, you people are freakin' scary.
[Linda goes in the back]
I won't tell her if you won't tell her.
Uh-Linda?
LLLinda, Lynda
Yes?
I meant Linda.
LLLinda, Lynda
Yes?
You're both named Linda?
LLLinda, Lynda
Yes.
I just had that creepy feeling I had in medical school watching the cell divide.
She can help out. She can do half my work.
Doing half your work is what you do.
Of all the things we needed around here, another Linda was not one of them.
Just for today, you are Beth.
LLynda
I don't like the name Beth.
I do, can I be Beth?
LLynda
I want to be Beth too.
You can't both be Beth.
Why? We're both Linda.
LLynda
Let's pick our own names.
I want to be Margaret.
LLynda
No, I want to be Margaret.
I want to be dead.
S2Sight Unseen
RRRegina 'Reggie' Kostas
Doesn't what she did piss you off?
Yeah, it just doesn't surprise me because I happen to feel that most people are cruel, small-minded and shallow.
RRRegina 'Reggie' Kostas
Oh, come on, Becker, if I believed that then I'd have to believe that the entire world just sucks.
Thank you! That's what I've been trying to tell you every single morning for the past two years! Thank you.
S2Panic on the 86th
RKRegina "Reggie" Kostas
I was born and raised in New York, and I've never been to the top of the Empire State Building!
Really? I was conceived up here! Well, acually it was in the elevator.
RKRegina "Reggie" Kostas
[incredulous] Your parents did it in the elevator!?
Well they weren't going to do it on the stairs, they're not animals!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Becker pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.