For god's sake, if you're gonna kill yourself, at least have the decency to wait until after rush hour. (sees no one is in the diner)
“The Hippocratic Oath” · Season 2
In this episode: Dr. John Becker (22), Linda (8), Regina Kostas (6), Jake Malinak (5), Margaret (2), Patient (2)
Where have you been? I'm out here talking to myself.
RKRegina "Reggie" Kostas
Well, it must be nice to have someone to agree with you for a change.
Psychology, yeah, right. How hard can it be? "Hi. You hate your mother. That'll be a hundred bucks."
RKRegina "Reggie" Kostas
As opposed to, "Get lots of rest and drink plenty of fluids, that'll be a hundred-fifty?"
Let me guess: long hair, sandals, has the pretentious college kid smirk you want to smack off with a baseball bat?
RKRegina "Reggie" Kostas
Geez, Becker, you never even met him. It's like you pre-hate him.
Saves time.
Just so you know, the only reason why he's helping you is because he wants to sleep with you.
RKRegina "Reggie" Kostas
Now, why would you say something like that?
He's a college kid. Basically, that's a penis with a backpack.
I might be running into some health problems. You see, I met this girl who's into astrology, right? She told me--
Astrology! Congratulations, Reg. Psychology just moved up a notch.
RKRegina "Reggie" Kostas
Becker, astrology goes back thousands of years.
Thousands years ago, people were crapping in their hats.
(to Margaret) The important thing is that you were nice to someone. And, lucky you, they died.
Think about it: you could come back rich.
If I come back rich, I'm not coming back.
So, how are you feeling?
Good. But that's the problem. I read this article about people who can't feel pain, and I've been feeling fine lately. So, that got me thinking: what if I'm one of those people? I mean, I could be in excruciating pain right now and not even know it.
Walter, that condition's called hyposensitivity, and I seriously doubt if you have it.
Well, I'd like to know for sure. Isn't there some kind of test you can run?
(hits him with a reflex hammer, to which he yells in pain)
What if I do get that disease? How will I know?
All right. Here. (gives him the reflex hammer) Home test kit.
DMDelivery man
Do you want 'em all right here?
No, no, why don't you leave the truck outside for a couple of months and if I need anything, I'll just go out and get it?
(looking through a phone book) Locksmith, locksmith, lava lamps. Oh, I've been looking for one of those.
Well, all the really classy places have lobsters in a tank. I guess rats in a box could catch on.
Am I the only one in this neighborhood who remembers that we're all here to help each other?
TTheresa
Dr. Becker?
Oh, what now?!
What happened?
TTheresa
Jimmy hit Sean with his hockey stick and cut his cheek.
Don't you kids ever do this kind of stuff on weekends?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Becker pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.