Batman quotes from Batman

Batman

Right now, Robin and I are off to nail Mad Hatter.

Gordon

The Mad Hatter? At a time like this? Who cares about that pipsqueak's inconsequential crimes?

Batman

Any crime, no matter how large or small, Commissioner Gordon, is a violation of a public right and common law, and the criminal or criminals committing such an offense must be apprehended, for the sake of all human morality.

Robin

Venus seemed like a nice girl in that costume.

Batman

I suspect she is a nice girl down deep, but she's fallen in with bad companions. And who knows what her home life was like?

Catwoman

Robin, get the money.

Batman

[entering from behind a curtain] Don't do it Robin! She's got you under the influence of some sort of drug, Robin.

Robin

Who's the character in the ridiculous costume?

Catwoman

[laughs] That's Batman.

Batman

You don't recognize me, Robin? What a dastardly turn of events this is.

Catwoman

Robin?

Robin

Yeah?

Catwoman

Slay the blue dragon.

Robin

Groovy.

Batman

Oh, no.

Robin

Oh, yes.

Batman

Chief O'Hara, may I have the keys to your patrol car?

Chief O'Hara

...are you insured?

Give him the keys, O'Hara!

Chief O'Hara

Yes, sir.

Robin

That's an impossible shot, Batman.

Batman

That's a negative attitude, Robin.

Catwoman

I could give you more happiness than anyone in the world.

Batman

How do you propose to do that?

Catwoman

By being your partner in life, I mean it's me and you against the world.

Batman

What about Robin?

Catwoman

Hmmm... I know. We'll kill him.

Batman

So, you didn't tell the truth [about coming alone].

Catwoman

Did you ever hear of a crook who did?

Batman

The odds seem about right -- four against one.

Robin

[appearing from behind some furniture] Four against two, Batman!

Batman

Robin!

Robin

I couldn't resist. [staying away] You were taken in by her [sniffs], but I'm too young for that sort of thing!

Batman

Out of the mouths of Boy Wonders ofttimes come gems.

Robin

[After the Black Widow has hypnotized Batman] Batman, I need you to sing a song! That way I can free you from the Black Widow's evil thrall!

Batman

Very well, Robin. I think a little Gilbert & Sullivan... [Picks up flower] I'm called Little... Buttercup... Poor Little... Buttercup... Though I could... never tell... why...

Batman

In fact, Mr. Wayne is taking Mrs. Harriet Cooper, a devotee of Miss Glaze's, backstage before the performance to meet the dazzling star.

Robin

While Dick Grayson, I suppose, stays home and works on his essay on glaciers?

Batman

Right again, Robin.

Robin

[to Carpet King] You must be that gentleman I've read about. Aren't you a king or something?

Batman

Robin, England has no king now. England has a queen, and a great lady she is, too.

Robin

To the batcave?

Batman

And up the batpoles.

Robin

The batpoles?

Batman

Even crimefighters need their sleep, Robin.

Robin

Where'd you get a live fish, Batman?

Batman

The true crimefighter always carries everything he needs in his utility belt, Robin.

Penguin

I don't know whether to call him "daddy" or just Commissioner.

Batman

If I were you, Penguin, I'd call help right now!

Robin

When we get through with you, Penguin, you'll be hollering "uncle" instead of "daddy"!

Robin

Batman, maybe I should stay home tonight. Homework, you know.

Batman

I think you should acquire a taste for opera, Robin, as one does for poetry and olives.