Scarface quotes from Batman: The Animated Series

Scarface

I thawt I thaw a putty tat.

Batman

How do you think I found this place? The phone book? I had help. Inside help.

Scarface

My premonition! I knew I was right! Which one of you louses is it?!

It ain't me boss!

Scarface

I know it ain't you, Rhino! You're too stupid to be a traitor!

Thanks, boss.

Scarface

But whoever it is, they're gonna pay big time! Who is it?! You don't talk, you get the ultimate massage!

Batman

And if I tell?

Scarface

Maybe you just get run over by a truck.

Batman

Tempting, but no.

Scarface

Have it your way. Rhino!

Batman

Hold it!

Scarface

This is gettin' old, Bats. Last chance, who's the traitor?

Batman

Him! The Ventriloquist!

Ventriloquist

No, no! He's lying! I told you when he came into my room!

Scarface

So what? Maybe you did 'cause I had ya cornered. Heard ya talkin' to Batman.

Batman

[uses his own ventriloquism to imitate the Ventriloquist] Shut up, you blockhead!

Scarface

WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

Ventriloquist

It wasn't me! I didn't say that! My lips didn't move!

Scarface

So what?! You're a ventriloquist! You're also a lyin' yellow liver-bellied two-face!

Ventriloquist

No, Scarface! I'm loyal! I'd never!

Batman

He's been feeding me information, in return for legal protection. [imitates the Ventriloquist again] You're going up the river, sawdust-for-brains!

Scarface

Why, I oughta...! Waste the floor-flusher! Come on, I gave an order! ICE HIM! DO IT! DO IT NOW!

But, boss, we ventilate the Ventriloquist, your, y'know...

Scarface

I'M SURROUNDED BY TRAITORS! Okay, fine. Ya want something done right, do it yourself! [aims his gun at the Ventriloquist]

Scarface

Court is now in session! The Good People of Arkham Asylum vs. the Self-Righteous Vigilante Called Batman! Our prosecutor is ready, likewise our fair and impartial jury.

Mad Hatter

Hang him!

Harley

Shoot him!

Killer Croc

Hit him with a rock!

Scarface

And now, all rise for the most honorable, most benevolent, most merciful Judge Joker!

Joker

GUILTY!

Janet Van Dorn

I was promised a chance to defend my client!

Joker

Oh, very well. Like it'll make a difference.

Janet Van Dorn

And so it's Batman's fault you lead a life of crime?

Poison Ivy

He should have let me bump off Harvey Dent. We'd all have been better off - wouldn't we, Harv?

Two-Face

[muttering while flipping his coin] Why, you rotten little...

Janet Van Dorn

But Miss Isley, isn't the real motivation for your crimes your obsession with plants? That you prefer them to people?

Poison Ivy

I love plants, honey, but a rose is a rose.

Janet Van Dorn

Then it doesn't bother you when someone, let's say the judge here, [plucks the flower from the Joker's robe] ruthlessly plucks a defenceless flower from the warm green earth?

Poison Ivy

No!

Janet Van Dorn

Even knowing he's given it his death sentence? That its petals must die? [starts pulling its petals out]

Poison Ivy

Stop it...!

Poison Ivy

One by one, withering, falling. One by one till it's all gone, honey.

Mad Hatter

Miss Ivy, please!

Scarface

You look beautiful when you're angry.

Scarface

Calm down, pussycat. We're all friends here. Dummy, don't keep our pretty guest in the dark.

Ventriloquist

Yes, sir, Mr. Scarface. [turns on the lot, revealing him and Scarface]

Scarface

Ah, that's better.

Selina Kyle

[gasps] You gotta be kidding. [laughs]

Scarface

What's she laughin' at? My fly ain't open, is it?

Ventriloquist

No, sir.

Scarface

So what's the gag?

Selina Kyle

Oh come on, you know! [in a goofy voice] "What's the gag?"

Scarface

Can it, sister. This is Scarface you're dealing with, and I don't stand for no disrespect.

Ventriloquist

I'd do as he says, ma'am. Mr. Scarface can be quite insistent.

Scarface

I don't think anyone's talking to you.

Ventriloquist

No, sir. No, sir.

Selina Kyle

Right... so, what do you want with me?

Scarface

My boys happened to be in the museum when they saw your little set-to with Miss Ronnie V. They also seen you licking your whiskers at the sight of Ronnie's pretty sparklers.

Selina Kyle

You're boring me, log.

Scarface

So what if I could provide you with a foolproof plan to snatchin' those rocks with no risk of you gettin' caught?

Selina Kyle

Pass. Kitty's been staying it at night. It's not the greatest, but it beats the pound, if you know what I mean.

Scarface

Now, that's a darn shame. And I thought for sure you'd want a chance to get even with the Vreelands. Not just for yourself, ya understand, but for all those poor little stuffed critters what never had the chance to fight back.

Selina Kyle

Oh, barf.

Scarface

It's a 50/50 cut. Take it or leave it? You in or what?

Harley Quinn

He threatens us! Takes away our privileges, even when we're good!

We've heard enough of this nonsense.

He says scum like us must be kept in line! That's why he chains us down at night and electrifies our doors!

Scarface

He held me over a can filled with a termites! Ya hear me?! TERMITES!

Harley Quinn

He's an animal!

Ventriloquist

A monster!

Keep him away!

SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU! [tries to attack them, but is stopped and restrained] You're all scum! You should be beaten within an inch of your misbegotten lives!

I've seen enough! [pounds the gravel] Lyle Bolton, you're dismissed!

Before I came here, Arkham was a revolving door for every maniac in Gotham. I kept them in! ME! Now I realize I was wrong to punish those pathetic miscreants! THEY'RE ONLY SYMPTOMS! YOU'RE THE CAUSE! THE GUTLESS POLICE, MINDLESS BUREAUCRATS, AND CODDLING DOCTORS! YOU SHOULD ALL BE LOCKED UP IN A CAGE WITHOUT A KEY!