Batman quotes from Batman: The Animated Series

Batman

You left Duvall to his fate a century ago. Why come back for him now?

Did you really think, detective, that in my six hundred years of life, I would have sired only one offspring? Even before the Phoenix debacle, I had come to realize that Arkady was too unbalanced and cruel to wisely rule my empire.

Batman

But you couldn't forget about him.

What father can ever forget his son? Come now, detective, I've still a few good years left. We will cross swords another day. But for now, let me take my boy home.

Riddler

[after Batman reveals he survived his trap] There's no way you could have escaped from that explosion! How did you get out?!

Batman

That's my little riddle.

Riddler

Please, you must tell me! [pauses] All right, you win. You'll tell me what I want to know, and I'll tell you what you want to know. Okay?

Batman

[smiles and folds his arms] You mean where you've hidden everything you've stolen?

Riddler

Certainly. I'll even tell you how I committed all those robberies. [holds out his hand] Deal?

Batman

No. [Batman takes out one of Riddler's two-way radios] Did you get that?

[from the radio] We got it.

This ought to be enough to prove a parole violation. You're going away for good this time. All right, get him out of here.

[about the radio] My compliments. This is a great little idea.

Riddler

[stops] Wait a minute! Aren't you gonna tell how you did it?! That's not fair!

Penguin

And what might you be doing out there? Catching insects for dinner?

Batman

I'm looking for Two-Face.

Penguin

What, did you lose him? [chuckles]

Batman

Somebody kidnapped him from Gotham Central tonight. You and he had a disagreement sometime ago, didn't you?

Penguin

It's true. Harvey stole a rare avis right out from under my beak several months ago. A jewel-encrusted statuette of a two-headed roc. It was worth millions. But, my dear rodent, I'd never kidnap a fellow rogue out of his sickbed. It just isn't done.

Batman

Honour among thieves?

Penguin

Absolutely. If I were going to attack Harvey, I'd do it face to face... to face, heh, so to speak. Like THIS! [laughs and unleashes his birds on Batman]

Batman

You may as well come out. I know everything now.

Batman

You hated Harvey Dent, and would do anything to destroy him.

Two-Face

Why not? He was going to destroy me. Just like I'm going to destroy you! [attacks him]

Batman

Harvey, pull yourself up!

I can't! I'll drop the coin!

Batman

Drop it! Save yourself!

I... I don't know what to do. The coin won't tell me!

Batman

It can't tell you anything! I switched coins when you grabbed me!

Robin

[swings and kicks the thugs out of Batman's way] Good thing I decided to tag along after all.

Batman

It's a trick coin! It'll always land on edge! It's your decision now, Harvey! Life or death? The coin or me?

Batman, help me.

Two-Face

Never! [punches Batman and falls]

Batman

HARVEY!!!

Batman

[To Harley] I hear you're getting out tomorrow.

Harley

You got a problem with that?

Batman

Congratulations.

Harley

Yeah, so I made a few mistakes. [shakes Batman's hand] I've got my head back together, and I'm gonna live my life right.

Batman

For your sake, I hope so.

Harley

I'll show you. Starting tomorrow, you'll see I'm just as sane as anybody.

Harley

Home again, home again, diggity dig...

Not for too long, though. Ms. Vreeland dropped the kidnapping charges. With a little more hard work, you should be ready to re-enter society for good.

Harley

Yay... [to Batman] There's one thing I've gotta know. Why'd you stay with me all day, risking your butt for someone who's never given you anything but trouble?

Batman

I know what it's like to try and rebuild a life. [takes her dress out of a bag] I had a bad day too, once.

Harley

[takes the dress] Nice guys like you shouldn't have bad days.

I could have rid Gotham of the fools in city hall and the police department! We could have made our own order!

Batman

I was born to fight your brand of order!

If that's your decision...!

Disturbance reported at the top of the Crown restaurant. Suspect is a male costumed extremist armed with what appears to be a... ketchup gun.

Batman

It's going to be one of those nights.

So long, suckers! Parting is such "sweet-and-sour" sorrow. [Batman yanks away his loot bag] What's this? Ah! The big bad Bat-guy. I knew you'd "ketchup" to me sooner or later. How I've "relished" this meeting. You, the dynamic Dark Knight, versus me, the conceptual Condiment King! Come, Batman. Let's see if you can "cut the mustard".

Batman

Quiet! [punches the King in the stomach]

[slumps to ground, gasping] You hit me!

Batman

Now listen, Mustard Man, or whatever you call yourself. You're obviously new at this, so I'm willing to go easy on you, provided you give back the loot and never even think about doing this again. Deal?

Every time I open a park, I get gate-crashers.

Batman

We've seen your insane vision of the future, Walker.

My world will have no crime, violence or pain.

Robin

You can add free will to that list too!

A small price to pay for order.

Batman

Your order! For your select few!

Excuse me, but I fail to see the problem with that!

Batman

You can't let Walker do this. Billions of people will perish.

Mr. Freeze

That's not my concern. All that matters is I once again have my wife, and the means to restore her.

Batman

She'll wake up in a dead, frozen world that you helped destroy. She'll hate you for that.

Mr. Freeze

Silence.

Batman

You think you're alone now? Wait until she learns the truth.

Mr. Freeze

I SAID SILENCE! [blasts at Batman and Robin, knocking them backward, turns back to Nora] Forgive me. [frees Batman and Robin] Come, there is much to do.

Batman

[groans] Batgirl.

Batgirl

Are you all right?

Batman

Yes. Thanks to you.

Dick

Barbara! Hey, Babs! [Barbara wakes up from her dream] Yo, bookworm! You up there?

Barbara

What is it, Dick?

Dick

All work and no play, you know. Come on, let's do a pizza run.

Barbara

[sheepishly] Love to, but I can't. If I don't ace these midterms, dad says he'll throw me in jail. And with my dad, that's no idle threat.

Dick

Okay. Catch you later.