Back at the Barnyard · Season 1
[Freddy imagines himself working at a cafe.]
[pressing buttons on the coffee machine] Okay, so that's a half-caf, extra hot...
Quarter-caf, semi-hot.
[nervous] Ex-quarter-hot, extra-half...
Quarter-caf, semi-hot, extra foam.
Extra foam, extra half...
[irritated] Extra foam!
[hysterical] EXTRA FOAM, SEMI-HOT, CAF QUARTER!!! [screams as the machine sprays foam on him]
Tractor go boom.
[The Farmer is sent to the hospital from the tractor accident.]
This is terrible! What have I done?!
Well, let's review. You interrupted Peck's yoga class, did a lame Stumpity Joe impression, and... oh, right. YOU BROKE THE FARMER!!!
[The animals have decided to do chores for the farmer.]
We're in a lot of trouble, aren't we?
Yeah, a lot of trouble.
[At the milking machine...]
You go first.
No way, you go first.
So, how are we doing on the milk, gals? [sees empty buckets] What? What's going on? We should be snorkeling in milk by now.
Look, no one but the farmer is clamping any electric doohickeys to my milk-giving areas.
Bessy, my bashful bovine, it couldn't be safer. Here, let me demonstrate. [fits the hose on his udders] Put these on...
Otis, that's not how it looks in the instructions.
Relax, I've seen the farmer do this, like, a hundred times. Okay, turn it on, turn it on.
Okay, you're the boss. [turns the dial, turning the machine on]
Mm-hm. Oh, it's quite, pleasant, actually. It's like a gentle tug. [chuckles, then starts to feel uncomfortable] Okay, slightly less gentle now. [yells in pain] AAH, OH! MY UDDERS... ARE... ON... FIRE!!!
[mishearing Otis saying "fire"] Higher? You got it! [turns the dial up higher]
[Otis screams hysterically in pain and tries to pull the hose off of his udders.]
[shrilly] TURN IT OFF!!!
[Otis yanks the hose off of his udders and he falls to the floor. Pip turns down the dial, turning off the machine.]
[moans in pain]
[laughs] That is one funny milking machine!
[high voice] Guys, I'm gonna need some private time. [crawls across the floor]
[Pig has eaten all the corn.]
[weakly] Otis... Strange dream... Music... Corn everywhere. [his stomach gurgles and he groans] I don't feel well...
[sighs in disappointment]
It probably isn't digested yet! We can still use it! [jumps on Pig's stomach] GIVE US BACK THAT CORN, YOU PINK CORN-GOBBLING BLIMP!
[The chickens have laid many eggs from being fed an energy drink made by the animals.]
Now that is what I call a grade A... [the egg blows up in his face] Uhhhh, what exactly did you put in the energy drink?
Yogurt.
Vitamins.
Love.
And?
[holding red sticks] And pepper!
[grabs the red sticks from Freddy] Those aren't pepper shakers. That's dynamite!
[chased by his opponent during the first fighting match] AAH! MAD COW, MAD COW!
Now, this-- [Otis gets punched] ...is entertainment! Pass the popcorn.
Oh, I can't look! It's too much for my delicate constitution. GET HIM, OTIS! TEAR HIM TO SHREDS!
[pretending to lose to Otis] Ow, that hurt. Oh, I am losing consciousness.
[singing over a montage of his wrestling matches] They say it's over, oh, but they're all wrong. 'Cause it's never-ending, 'til you hear the gong! Otis, you're the best, you're on top, you're gonna go all the way, you'll never stop! Otis, you're the best, you'll always win. Overcoming an obstacle, you're the wizard of winning... [stops singing at the end of the montage] What, you guys never heard that one?
[dizzy from being punched by his bull opponent] I am but a humble breadmaker.
[standing up to his bull opponent] Okay, fella, I may not be, you know, a real wrestler, but... but you and that boss of yours made one big mistake. You messed with my friends. Prepare for a bovine blizzard!
I am so a real wrestler, in your face! [blows raspberry]
Alright, sheep, it's bear season. You know what that means.
Exercise caution and stay within the perimeter of the farm?
No, no, it means I gotta rub you down with salmon to disguise your scent. Come on, line up.
But Duke, that makes no sense.
Yeah. Fish forms a substantial part of a bear's basic diet.
You see, that's the kind of fancy college talk that attracts bears, mister.
Hey-hey, Duke, old buddy! We need a fifth for poker, and you're a complete suck-- I mean, I'm gonna take your money-- Hey, I mean, you know, words are weird.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Back at the Barnyard pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
