Back at the Barnyard Season 1 quotes

You're a bucket head, lady. [To the audience] Isn't she a bucket head?

Security!

Peck

But, Abby, how’d you know a mini version of you would lure Little Otis from the carrier?

Abby

Easy. I knew he'd be crazy about her the same way big Otis is crazy about me.

Otis

[Objects to Abby] Lies and conjecture, madam. My clone is not crazy about your clone.

Little Otis

Hey, Otis. Guess what? Little Abby and I are going steady. Ah. [Purrs, then winks at Little Abby] Give me a kiss, baby.

Little Abby

Pucker up, sugar. [Little Abby and Little Otis share a kiss]

Otis

[Shocked] What? Stop it. That doesn't prove anything. Break it up, you two. [Starts to get emotional] They grow up so fast.

[interrupting Snotty Boy from shooting earwax at the farm animals] Eugene!

Snotty Boy

[irritated] I'm... BUSY!!!

[talking through a megaphone] Come home! I have a wonderful surprise for you!

Snotty Boy

A surprise? I like surprises. [chuckles] You're lucky, cow.

EUGENE!

Snotty Boy

[storms off] I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!

Otis

Alright, is everyone okay?

Peck

Sorry, I can't hear you. I have wax in my ears, AND IT'S NOT MINE!

Pip

I hate that kid!

Abby

He's inhuman!

Freddy

He's not of this earth!

Pig

He's a monster!

Peck

[can't hear] What?

Otis

I don't like the sound of this "big surprise".

Freddy

I don't like the sound of vacuums!

Pip

You're not bright.

Snotty Boy

Auntie Nora, save me!

Huh? BERNARD!

Otis

[grabs Mrs Beady's camera] Yoink.

Take your hands off my little yum-yum man!

Auntie, it's not what you think! I found him like this! Tell her, Eugene! Tell her I found you like-- Aaahhh!

[to Phlegmy Boy] I'm sending you back to your mother and father, and you're never coming here again! [yells in a deep voice] EVER!!!!

[as Mrs. Beady drags him away by his ear] I'll be back, Eugene. And I'm gonna eat your silly-billy skull!

Snotty Boy

I did it! I defeated Bernard! And you know who I have to thank?

Otis

No. No need to thank me.

Snotty Boy

Me! Because I "rockah la casbah", and you're the worst spirit guides ever! And I'm gonna kick your stupid spirit guide butts!

Peck

Pip, could you please tell the weasel to pass the syrup?

Pip

Dude, leave me out of this.

Freddy

Pip, you tell that mistake of nature he can have the syrup after he passes me the salt.

Pip

Oh, well, in that case, no.

Peck

Tell him only idiots eat pancakes with salt.

Folks, a one-eyed doodlebug can see that this barnyard is rife with emotional tension.

Otis

What?! That's crazy.

Abby

Yeah, we're like family.

Bingo. Families are like a beekeeper with his hair on fire. You can't tell him what for, and if'n you do, he'll ask you for change!

Pip

What?

[about Pig] Okay, for example, this little feller right here uses pancakes to smother the sad clown inside his heart.

Pig

[cries] It's true! Oh, it's true! [falls to the floor, and notices a stray pancake] Oh, finders keepers. [eats the pancake]

[about Pip] And this little feller lives in the shadow of a best friend with whom he could never hope to compete.

Otis

Is that true, Pip?

Pip

I'm not just a sidekick. I'm a person! OH, SWEET CHEESE! IT HURTS!

[to Otis and Abby] And you two are mired in the pasty quicksand of your ongoing romantic tension.

Otis

I don't secretly love you!

Abby

Me either!

Now, I always say you can't know a person until you walk around in his shoes and felt the searing pain of his bunions.

Pig

Uh, question, what if the "shoes" belong to a circus clown?

It was only a figure of speech, son.

Pig

Ah. [picks up clown shoes] Then I won't need these. [throws the shoes away]

Talking animals! I saw you! You animals were walking, and talking, and playing an obscure form of golf!

Otis

Sir, calm down. We are not talking animals. We're... um... you know.

Freddy

Fruit cup distributors!

Otis

No, we're...

Abby

Sassy improv comics.

Otis

That is not helpful.

Pig

Oh, I know! We're imaginary brain pixies, and only you can see us. Nailed it.

Head hurting. Memory of recent events fading.