Why, it sounds like a heavenly angel.
Or a bewitching sorceress luring us to our doom!
Hey, maybe the angel and the sorceress had a kid.
You mean a sorcer-angel?
No, more like an angel-ress.
Can I help you, Mr. Pig and Cow in human costumes THINKING NO ONE NOTICES?!
So, Otis, who do you think I'm up against in tomorrow's finals?
Who cares? I'm telling you, Pig. This thing's a lot.
[On stage, the female singer hits a sustained high note that breaks Hilly's glasses, a glass of water, the backstage TV, then all the lights backstage.]
AAudience
[offscreen] Wow!
We have to rehearse.
But you said--
WE HAVE TO REHEARSE!
[At the barn, Pig is attempting to hit a high note to break a glass bottle.]
If you can't break glass like that freak girl, we'll never win.
Aw, come on, Otis, I'm tired. My throat hurts.
No, it doesn't. That's your soft palate burning with the desire to win. Now try again!
Okay. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, laaaaaa...
Higher... higher!
Laaaaaaaaaaaaa--[chokes] Ow... Ooh... Ow...
Uh, Otis? I think he lost his voice!
[frantic] No! Don't you see? He did it! It's so high, it can only be heard by rodents and scorpions! Tell him, rodent!
[playing cards] I don't hear nothing. How about you?
SScorpion
[playing cards with Pip] Nope.
No, this isn't happening! Okay, don't panic, it's fine. You know what, it's fine. He still has a few hours to get his voice back.
Actually, he's due on stage in 20 minutes.
YOU AND YOUR TRUTH! Milk me, come on! [takes Pig]
This won't end well.
I know. Wanna go watch?
I'm there.
I love a good train wreck.
Okay, Pig, you're up. But don't worry. I'll do your voice from behind the curtain. You just lip sync along.
Is that fair?
Fair don't puts Otis on the cover of Solid Gold Managers' Yo! Magazine.
[singing poorly as Pig lip syncs] Oh, Skunky Boy, the clowns, the clowns are hollering. With hay for all, and lots of magic pie.
[Mrs. Beady exposes Otis and Pig's act.]
They're making a mockery of this show, which embodies all that's great about us as a species!
Lady, your vigilance has saved this show and made you a national hero!
Oh, and that's not all. They're also talking barn animals. They live next door to me and have wild, ritualistic hoedowns all night long!
You had me, and you lost me. SECURITY!
Pigster, snack-tify us!
You got it! Who wants tater tinys? [a floating spatula smacks him all over his body] Ow, ooh, ow, ouch! You know, you could just say "no".
What? What are you talking about?
[The lights flicker, making the animals gasp.]
Um, that can easily be explained.
[The TV flickers, a toaster pops up toast, and a drinking bird rocks.]
That is somewhat less explainable.
[A ghastly shriek is heard.]
And that defies all known logic and reason. Welp, I'm off to Tibet. Good luck with everything!
Otis, I'm scared!
[climbs on Otis] Me too!
This has all the earmarks of a haunting. Otis, did anything weird happen while you were building your fun shack?
Weird? No. No, it was really easy, actually, after I removed this big, flat rock. [holds up said rock]
"Here Lies Winky". Otis, this is a tombstone!
[terrified] A tombstone?! Otis, you woke up a g-g-g-g-g-- [Peck slaps him on the back] apparition!
Oh, that means ghost!
[Everyone clamors in panic.]
Guys, guys, relax! There is no such things as ghosts.
[The tombstone floats out of Otis' hands and beats Otis on the head with itself.]
You were saying?
I'm guessing we have a ghost here. But I'm sure he is way more afraid of us than we are of him. [the tombstone hits him again]
[during the séance] Ghostly chanting, ghostly chanting, chanting ghostly, chanting, chanting, chanting, show yourself!
Where'd you get that ridiculous mumbo jumbo?
Right here in the Big Book of Ridiculous Mumbo Jumbo.
WWinky
You just messed with the wrong 150-year-old ghost bunny!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Back at the Barnyard pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.