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5 SEASONS

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Awkward quotes

154 quotes · page 8 of 11

Awkward
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S4 E7After Hours

Playing matchmaker with an ex proves you've gone from "Point A" to "Point Cray."

I am so sorry, sweetie. I'm just going to be a bad parent and pretend I didn't see any of this.

S4 E8Prison Breaks

The only thing worse than getting dumped is a eat, pray, suck road trip with you two morons. Good luck with Crossroads 2!

SShane

Do you just blurt out every offensive thing you think?

No, it's actually carefully curated.

S4 E9My Personal Statement

Here's the deal, Eva. Things aren't great between Matty and I right now, but I know Matty McKibben and he would never fuck you in my bed, so I don't know what kind of game this is you're playing, but count me out. But, hey, nice try.

S4 E10Snow Job

Matty, can you get rid of the barnacle for a second so we can talk skiing.

Are you still afraid of the lift?

Are you still afraid of me ripping your balls off? Because you should be.

S4 E12Finals

Who's auditioning for Teen Mom 3?

I have no idea.

Is it you? Luke sperminated and terminated you? I will just defer college and we'll raise this baby together in a non-sexual life partnership. No offense, you're not really my type. Now, what are we thinking for the nursery?

S4 E14Welcome to Hell

I still hadn’t told Tamara about my own bananagans. Knowing that I took Owen’s v-card had really thrown me for a loop. I was not ready for a serious relationship with a sophomore.

S4 E15Bonfire of the Vanities

Seniors, this is our last bonfire, so enjoy it even though 50 percent of our class doesn't deserve to live.

They’re also conniving whores who come with a side of herpes. Enjoy your itchy, burning peen.

S4 E17The New Sex Deal

Uh, Google Earth to Jenna, BJ’s are like flowers for dudes. You ruined them too.

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