YYorgo
Your friend…he thinks with his head.
Oh yes…and what does your friend think with? His bollocks?!!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Now, what are the words we don't use?
I'm broke, I'm stressed, I'm depressed, I'm too old.
Right.
I fixed Debbie’s party, taken the back room at Guido’s, we can have a disco and everything.
That’s gonna cost, isn’t it?
Hello….what were we just saying?!!
Fine, fine…champagne, limousines, ecstasy…whatever!
[The lads are having dinner at Oz's house. Oz is offering wine.]
Right, who's for a bit more Romanian Red?
No thanks Oz, dodgy stomach.
It's probably this wine. I'll be glad when I've had enough.
I’ve been seeing a shrink…funny thing is I could do it with her no problem.
Can you not think of her while you’re shagging Brenda?
Aww, I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned this.
Make a hell of a good way of getting your money out of a sex therapist.
[Barry snorts what he thinks is cocaine]
Aww, where do you get this stuff?
Boots. It’s my herbal laxative.
Bloody hell. I’ll have a runny nose for days.
[Oz discusses the problem of keeping the new workforce happy]
Well, we just have to make sure that they stay on their own side of the River, that's all.
Well, that's easy enough.
We're going to have the Kosovans support the Boro
And the Serbs can support Hartlepool United.
Let's hope they never meet in the Cup!
[Oz tells Dennis he saw Tatiana and Kadi kissing]
I take it this wasn't a brotherly kiss?
Maybe if you're from Kentucky.
[Bomber hears that Barry's wife is cheating on him]
Oh dear oh dear. Who with?
Her brother.
Except for certain parts of Shropshire, that's illegal isn't it?
Why did you not bring it up with him?
How do you tell a man his wife is having it away with her brother?
If this goes pear shaped, what am I going to do with a bridge?
[Moxey is told to lie low in the motel low for a while]
It’s got a vending machine full of Mars Bars, Sky One, UK Gold – for somebody like you, that’s luxury!
You’ve got a point there, Den.
Does my skin bother you?!
Divvn’t be daft man, my team play in black and white, divvn’t they?! I’ve just got a thing about Cockneys.
[The lads are in the van driving to see Oz's son's show]
I can usually suss I bloke’s musical tastes, me.
Haddaway and bollocks, you’ve only known me for five bloody minutes lad. There’s no way you can tell what I like to listen to.
No, alright have a go!
Ok, I will, alright alright…Early Stones, The Clash, Clapton, and a sprinkling of C and W.
AAll
[Jeers]
Ha ha, not far off the mark there!
He’s been in my gaffe, he’s been right through my CDs!
No I haven’t mate, no I haven’t. Alright then - Dennis.
Aye, go on then.
Otis Redding, Aretha
Aretha?
Aretha, Marvin Gaye…and you’ve got a soft spot for Rod Stewart, but only when you’re at the karaoke pissed!
Aye, I can’t argue with that young‘an!
What about me?
Easy, you’re easy. Abba and Acker Bilk.
What about Neville?
Morose music I reckon.
Get away!
Yeah, morose music…The Smiths, The Cult, Depeche Mode…music to slit your wrist by!
That’s not me at all!
No, nooo…these days Neville likes to watch Destiny’s Child videos!
[In Rod’s dressing room following his Dusty Springfield performance]
That's all it is though - an act? It doesn't mean to say that you're...
RRod
Gay?
Yeah, it doesn’t mean to say that you’re gay.
RRod
I am gay.
Hells Bollocks. Well is it permanent?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Auf Wiedersehen, Pet pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.