I am Turkatron. I have come from the year 9595 to save this bird that lies before you for he is the great, great, great, great grandfather... of Goblox... the turkey that's destined to lead the rebellion against master chickens.
Do you know who Goblox is?! I will tell you who Goblox is. In the year 9595, a race of deformed turkey was genetically developed by chicken scientists as revenge against his bird brother. These turkeys would exit the womb doused in gravy; gravy filled with the giblets from a monkey. The French craved it and, as a result, turkey became the only food source for France, which is now called RoboFrance 29. I was later killed by the chickens! So, of course, you can see why I'm angry at those chickens.
Of course I do. Months and months ago, I had came upon your neighbor taking the form of the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future. But I didn't realize he was an agent: a chicken in disguise. Sent from the year 19... sent from the year 19...
From there. They had evolved, big time! From beyond feathers, their beaks had softened and they acquired synthetic intelligence and appendages from the chicken black market from beyond the Moon!
I knew that. And that's why I was sent here to erase his mind... and my mind as well. I had to be reformulated by rogue chicken scientists for the rebellion. They crafted my sleek, turkey body which allowed for safe passage through the time rift. So, in summation: the bird comes with me... dead or alive.
I added food coloring 'cause it's a holiday, but it turned black 'cause I added all the food coloring I had. And I ate this butter straight out of the tub, 'cause it tastes good. There's a reason behind everything.
You know, that last bite, it reminds me of this severely long story about how the chickens became a master race through a freak accident involving radiation, and interestingly enough, to me, a marshmallow!
Oh, is this your story now? Did this happen to you and not to me?! Well, listen up everybody, he's about to tell us all his amazing story! The one that happened to me and not him.
(drunk; referring to a chicken on TV) Damn you, Billy! Damn it! I... you thought you had my mind under your control, but now who's strapped to a wall enslaved by the chickens, huh? You... are strapped... to the wall... man. And, I'm not, but who is— you are... dick. (headbutts the TV)
